All too often I run into companies that have resigned themselves to having two
different people covering the product role.
Usually the way they split it is they have one person responsible for
interacting with customers and stakeholders (which they often call the product
manager), and another to interact with the development team and manage the
backlog (which they usually call the product owner).
The reasoning is typically because they don’t have someone with either the
skills or the time required to commit to covering both.
There are many “product managers” that are not technical enough to effectively
engage with the developers, yet management hopes to utilize them. And
there are many “product owners” that show no inclination or ability to get out
of the building and interact with customers, yet management knows this is
critical.
As appealing as this strategy may sound, I want to use this article to try to
explain why this approach typically yields very weak product and little
innovation.
I have written earlier that this approach has two common negative consequences.
This first is that there is no clear owner (neither person takes
responsibility for the product), and the second is a common lack of respect or
understanding between the two (the “product manager” doesn’t appreciate the
technical complexities, and the “product owner” doesn’t appreciate the
customer’s pain).
However, this approach has an even more fundamental issue as well:
In order to make the many hundreds of large and small decisions a product owner
makes every week, he needs to have deep understanding of the customers.
Deep customer knowledge is what informs the decisions. It is
actually the main thing a capable product owner brings to the party and it is
what distinguishes him from the others on the team.
Similarly, when interacting with customers and identifying problems and
opportunities, it is the knowledge of the technology and what is possible that
informs the discussions and the potential solutions. This is what
distinguishes a product person from other roles such as marketing, user
research or sales, and why it’s essential that the product person has the
direct customer interaction.
It is precisely this combination of deep customer understanding with the
ability to apply technology to solve customer problems that enables a strong
product person.
I know this doesn’t make it any easier to find people that are willing and able
to do both, but I do hope that more company leaders come to understand how
essential it is to find product people that can cover both aspects of the role.
(http://www.svpg.com/product-manager-vs-product-owner/)
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Uncertainty and Belief
"The future is not set, there is no fate but what we make for ourselves."
Confidence will get you killed;
Arrogance will get you beat;
Idealism will blind you to the world;
Cynicism will keep you on an island.
What cuts the middle for me is belief. Belief in my friends; Belief in my colleagues; Belief - above all - in myself. My life has twisted and turned in many incalculable, uncertain directions. Not bad for a kid who had bracketed himself for the better part of 20 years.
In that time I made many mistakes, but experienced many wins. And even in the face of great misfortune, I feel that I've rebounded stronger every time. In a way, that has made me embrace uncertainty. I think that for the most part people fear uncertainty. To them it is risky, unpleasant, even dangerous.
I have learned to take uncertainty head-on. Not by brute force mind you - that would be deadly - but rather by calculated moves accepting of all outcomes. If one sees an undesirable outcome and seeks only to avoid it, he or she will be drawn into it like a black hole. If one only focuses on a pre-determined "perfect" outcome, one risks consumption of mind body and soul. I find that accepting all outcomes - good and bad; known and unknown - allows one to avoid all traps. In a way, it provides guard rails to keep one's capability to discern the best possible outcome at any given moment.
As I see it, the path to doing this is belief; and especially the belief that one will continue on successfully regardless of the decided outcome of any given moment. I think the following key elements allow one to do this:
I believe so...
Confidence will get you killed;
Arrogance will get you beat;
Idealism will blind you to the world;
Cynicism will keep you on an island.
What cuts the middle for me is belief. Belief in my friends; Belief in my colleagues; Belief - above all - in myself. My life has twisted and turned in many incalculable, uncertain directions. Not bad for a kid who had bracketed himself for the better part of 20 years.
In that time I made many mistakes, but experienced many wins. And even in the face of great misfortune, I feel that I've rebounded stronger every time. In a way, that has made me embrace uncertainty. I think that for the most part people fear uncertainty. To them it is risky, unpleasant, even dangerous.
I have learned to take uncertainty head-on. Not by brute force mind you - that would be deadly - but rather by calculated moves accepting of all outcomes. If one sees an undesirable outcome and seeks only to avoid it, he or she will be drawn into it like a black hole. If one only focuses on a pre-determined "perfect" outcome, one risks consumption of mind body and soul. I find that accepting all outcomes - good and bad; known and unknown - allows one to avoid all traps. In a way, it provides guard rails to keep one's capability to discern the best possible outcome at any given moment.
As I see it, the path to doing this is belief; and especially the belief that one will continue on successfully regardless of the decided outcome of any given moment. I think the following key elements allow one to do this:
- Always keep your head on a swivel. Outcomes don't sit on a linear road waiting for you to trip over them. they exist in a broad ocean, ready to be discovered. Uncertainty will always exist in this state, but it cannot be allowed to stop you, as opportunity may be lying just beneath the surface.
- Never fear failure. If one believes that failure is a key foundation of success, failure will never be fatal.
I believe so...
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Economic Ramblings, Part Deux
Warren Buffett got me going again. I won't rehash what I wrote last week, though I will throw out a few grins at the notion that I think like Buffett [:-D]. No, instead I want to briefly rant on the snake oil economy that America is allowing our politicians to sell them.
I heard the first intelligent thing I've ever heard from a Tea Party supporter. I know, I know, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. Matt Kibbe of Freedomworks made a seemingly innocuous statement on the July 29th Real time with Bill Maher. To paraphrase, he said that the Tea Party ideology was born out of the middle class's belief that they bear the burden of socializing the bottom class AND the upper class.
Now, again, that seems like a fairly innocuous statement, no? True to form, it was lost very quickly in the show. However, consider our progressive income tax structure and then juxtapose that with the points raised by Buffett and myself about the rich underpaying vs their own workforce as a percent of their income. It suddenly gives Mr. Kibbe's statement some foundation.
This gets me to my point about how our politicians try to present our economy. The old guard wants to harangue about our manufacturing Economy - we used to make shit, then we'd blow people up with that shit for the purpose of selling them other shit to drive our economy. The new wave is the Service Economy - everybody else makes shit, but we're the smartest people on the planet, and therefore they need us to come up with the shit to be made and then provide the service to keep it running at a premium.
They're both a complete load of, well, shit. We sold the Manufacturing Economy up the river a few decades ago. The Service Economy is a Utopian dream that we won't be able to fully achieve. Instead, I'd like to introduce my own concept: the Performance Economy.
This idea is not based on any sort of hard facts, loose statistics, or abstract theories. I've conceived this idea purely my own, solely based on my own professional trials and tribulations. My concept of the Performance Economy is quite simple: The value of our economy is based on what we do.
Way too easy right? Well, let me elaborate on the most important part of my statement, the word "do." See anyone can do anything. That is the very definition of freedom, but that does not necessarily create value. Conversely, creating something that results in value is not entirely what I'm going for either, as it may only be a one-time deliverable. No, my idea bears two key indicators: measurability and successful progression.
Measurability is key to making sure that progress can be accurately tracked. From the assembly line to the board room, anything can be properly framed within metrics that define the value of work being done. Those metrics can then to transitioned and transformed into guidelines by which business can operate. Think of this as the present value of an organization or venture.
Successful Progression determines the future value of an enterprise. Anything can work once. "The Real World" has had dozens of sequels, but none will approach its success. No, the way to grow is to take the metrics of a successful enterprise and evolve them to the next step that drives the next great venture. To build on the "Real World" example, the successful progression is "The Jersey Shore."
To pull the concept away from the MTV artificial universe, consider Apple vs. Microsoft. Apple picked itself up off the mat by embracing their failures, evaluating their metrics, and adapting to a new vision. They made the iPod and it blew up. so they took the framework of the iPod and evolved it to the iPhone. Now they're at the iPad phase. What's next? Who knows, but the point is that they're already on it. Microsoft on the other hand still thinks like a PC. That's not going to work. Microsoft either has to evolve of has to fail. It sucks, but it's a Performance Economy. Either get the job done or get left behind.
Combined, the two indicators create a very simple, yet elegant hypothesis:
Growth = Present Value [Measurability] + Future Value [Successful Progression]
Like all theories, it doesn't always work, but it works more often than not. I'm ready to pick up the ball and run with it. I hope others have the stones to come with me.
Disclaimer: After writing this post, I Googled "Performance Economy" and stumbled upon this book. From the description, it seems like it is at least somewhat in line with my thinking, so at least one other person out there thinks I'm on the right track. I'll get the book and report back on my impressions at later time.
I heard the first intelligent thing I've ever heard from a Tea Party supporter. I know, I know, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. Matt Kibbe of Freedomworks made a seemingly innocuous statement on the July 29th Real time with Bill Maher. To paraphrase, he said that the Tea Party ideology was born out of the middle class's belief that they bear the burden of socializing the bottom class AND the upper class.
Now, again, that seems like a fairly innocuous statement, no? True to form, it was lost very quickly in the show. However, consider our progressive income tax structure and then juxtapose that with the points raised by Buffett and myself about the rich underpaying vs their own workforce as a percent of their income. It suddenly gives Mr. Kibbe's statement some foundation.
This gets me to my point about how our politicians try to present our economy. The old guard wants to harangue about our manufacturing Economy - we used to make shit, then we'd blow people up with that shit for the purpose of selling them other shit to drive our economy. The new wave is the Service Economy - everybody else makes shit, but we're the smartest people on the planet, and therefore they need us to come up with the shit to be made and then provide the service to keep it running at a premium.
They're both a complete load of, well, shit. We sold the Manufacturing Economy up the river a few decades ago. The Service Economy is a Utopian dream that we won't be able to fully achieve. Instead, I'd like to introduce my own concept: the Performance Economy.
This idea is not based on any sort of hard facts, loose statistics, or abstract theories. I've conceived this idea purely my own, solely based on my own professional trials and tribulations. My concept of the Performance Economy is quite simple: The value of our economy is based on what we do.
Way too easy right? Well, let me elaborate on the most important part of my statement, the word "do." See anyone can do anything. That is the very definition of freedom, but that does not necessarily create value. Conversely, creating something that results in value is not entirely what I'm going for either, as it may only be a one-time deliverable. No, my idea bears two key indicators: measurability and successful progression.
Measurability is key to making sure that progress can be accurately tracked. From the assembly line to the board room, anything can be properly framed within metrics that define the value of work being done. Those metrics can then to transitioned and transformed into guidelines by which business can operate. Think of this as the present value of an organization or venture.
Successful Progression determines the future value of an enterprise. Anything can work once. "The Real World" has had dozens of sequels, but none will approach its success. No, the way to grow is to take the metrics of a successful enterprise and evolve them to the next step that drives the next great venture. To build on the "Real World" example, the successful progression is "The Jersey Shore."
To pull the concept away from the MTV artificial universe, consider Apple vs. Microsoft. Apple picked itself up off the mat by embracing their failures, evaluating their metrics, and adapting to a new vision. They made the iPod and it blew up. so they took the framework of the iPod and evolved it to the iPhone. Now they're at the iPad phase. What's next? Who knows, but the point is that they're already on it. Microsoft on the other hand still thinks like a PC. That's not going to work. Microsoft either has to evolve of has to fail. It sucks, but it's a Performance Economy. Either get the job done or get left behind.
Combined, the two indicators create a very simple, yet elegant hypothesis:
Growth = Present Value [Measurability] + Future Value [Successful Progression]
Like all theories, it doesn't always work, but it works more often than not. I'm ready to pick up the ball and run with it. I hope others have the stones to come with me.
Disclaimer: After writing this post, I Googled "Performance Economy" and stumbled upon this book. From the description, it seems like it is at least somewhat in line with my thinking, so at least one other person out there thinks I'm on the right track. I'll get the book and report back on my impressions at later time.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
How to actually fix the economy
"It's the economy stupid!"
-- James Carville during Bill Clinton's 1992 campaign
I was inspired by Mark Cuban this week. No, not because he's going to buy the Dodgers in 2012 and restore the luster to the franchise that was once the crown jewel of baseball. This is more about Cuban's highly insightful blog post that surfaced on Yahoo! Sports.
http://blogmaverick.com/2010/05/09/what-business-is-wall-street-in/
His write-up is very plainly put. In fact, I'll even admit to being jealous as to how well he talked about how I've always felt about capital gains taxes. As such, I've decided to put my money where my mouth is and put out the 3 things that I think are key to re-strengthening our economy:
-- James Carville during Bill Clinton's 1992 campaign
I was inspired by Mark Cuban this week. No, not because he's going to buy the Dodgers in 2012 and restore the luster to the franchise that was once the crown jewel of baseball. This is more about Cuban's highly insightful blog post that surfaced on Yahoo! Sports.
http://blogmaverick.com/2010/05/09/what-business-is-wall-street-in/
His write-up is very plainly put. In fact, I'll even admit to being jealous as to how well he talked about how I've always felt about capital gains taxes. As such, I've decided to put my money where my mouth is and put out the 3 things that I think are key to re-strengthening our economy:
- Reform capital gains taxes
- Reform venture fund tax rules
- Promote employee equity ownership
1. Reform Capital Gains Taxes
Cuban covers most of this, especially the part about promoting long term outlays into businesses. I would take it a step further and make Capital Gains a reverse tax. Basically I envision a tax rate that starts at a person's income rate (probably 25-30%) for the first years, and dropping incrementally to 10% as long as they hold the investment for 4-5 years. This promotes people putting their money into companies they believe in, letting that company grow, and then rewarding them for a long-term commitment.
2. Reform Venture Fund Tax Rules
This is kind of similar to point 1, but addresses a MAJOR tax loophole. Basically the way a venture fund works is that an investor (or set of investors) wants to pool some money to be used to start businesses that hopefully mature and payoff within 5-10 years. This pool of money is given to people who run the fund - Fund Mangers - who then vet business plans and decide how to spend the investors' money. The money starts companies, creates jobs, pays salaries, and eventually - hopefully - cashes out gains for the investors (subject to my 5+ year rule above).
So what's the problem? Well, at the top of the totem pole, investors pay a fairly low tax rate. I'm OK with this because they are putting their money on the line. They are paying salaries, they are absorbing the risk, they've (hopefully) paid their fair share climbing the ladder. On the opposite side of the spectrum, the companies that have been invested in are paying employees who are paying regular income taxes. The problem for me comes in the middle - the Fund Managers. They are taking someone else's money, collecting 2% immediately off the top as their fee (remember these fund are millions of dollars), putting the rest into new companies, then taking 20% of all profits. The 2% fee and 20% cut of profits are all treated at capital gains, and therefore taxed at 10%(ish). HUH?!?! It's not their investment - the money came from someone else. This is their JOB. They should have to pay income taxes just like the rest of us. Think about that. If you work for a venture-backed company, the guy paying out your investors' money is paying 15-20+% less of their income to the government than you. How the hell is that fair?
Sorry fund managers. You've sold the government a bill of goods and it needs to stop. You are getting paid - as in payroll, income - to be a fiduciary for someone else's money and sit on a board of directors. Make some money, become an investor yourself, THEN start paying only capital gains. This is true top-5% loophole. 95% of the country should be with me on this.
3. Promote Employee Equity Ownership
This is a personal cause for me. I'm not a fan of venture and their tax loopholes and their "10x!" (their absurd benchmark for a "successful" exit). Employee ownership is an answer to this. Obviously it falls apart if you need a lot of start-up capital (ie: to build a factory), but the high-tech world allows for many new options. I could see myself starting a company where I ask a team to work for 3-6 months for a sizable piece of the company. When we get going and make some sales, the windfall goes directly to the guys who made the company work. The best example of this is SAIC. Their founder - Dr. Beyster - decided to start paying out some of the 80% equity of his company to his employees. Over 10 years, he went from 80% owner of a million-dollar company to 5% owner of a billion-dollar company. Which would you like to have? I thought so.
Government can easily help promote this. Tax breaks, grants, worker programs could all be linked to some employee equity benchmarks. It should come at minimal cost to government (maybe even gain if it keeps people employed). Again, common sense approach that promotes medium- to long-term job opportunities.
Hopefully we (Americans, the people) are learning from this. The "super committee" is garbage. I hope they pull something off, but they probably won't and things will stay ugly for a while. I have full-faith in the American people, and no matter what we will finally put ourselves back to work - most likely in spite of our assclown politicians. The steps above would help. We'll see if anyone has the guts or balls to enact non-self-serving policies.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Language
Two things caught my interest today:
- This article: http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/08/10/handwriting.horror/index.html?iref=obnetwork
- My friend Amanda's comment on my chat status: "Stop using big words"
Now, it is a paradox that I critique those two things. I hand-write like an engineer and Amanda is a highly intelligent person who will more than likely push her kids to do things like have good handwriting and a strong vocabulary.
That being said, it still irks me how much I don't see that happening around me. When I was hiring a minion earlier this year (OK fine, "intern"), I was amazed at the poorly constructed the emails I received. These were Masters level kids, who supposedly are coached up by career people and they wrote like I was inviting them to a kegger at my house.
The same drivel has crept into all aspects of how we communicate. Spewing rancor is more effective than presenting a coherent point; verbal communication has become so cumbersome that everything must fall into 100 character texts and twits; if in the unlikely event something is written, it seeks to inflame emotions over inspiring the soul; and don't get me started on Internet comments.
They say write what you know. I tend to write what I do because I can only "know" so much at any given moment in time. I believe it is a privilege to get to express my thoughts, opinions, and experiences without censor. And I believe that right bears the responsibility of good-faith conjecture. It's too bad I also believe I'm in the minority.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Define: Rock Bottom
I've been through some shitty periods in my life, but the last 5 weeks rival any of them. I'm publishing this, really, as a reminder to my future self: Life is going to kick you in the nuts. I know, Prophetic [not really]. Anyway, I'm rating this maladies on a 2-tier scale:
5 weeks ago - Dumptown. Population: me.
I'd been seeing a girl for about 5 months, just over month seriously, when out of nowhere, she cuts it off. How abruptly you ask?
I'm not going to dive too deep into this, but the assessment from every person I know who knows me/her/us was the same: she got scared. Look, fair enough. I'm the first person to tell anyone (including her) that I'm no the easiest person to be with. I intentionally look at the world differently. Not necessarily right or wrong, but different. We are who we are; and while I don't believe that people change, they do evolve. Eventually I will evolve to the point where women aren't tuned out when being with me. Or at least that's my hope.
Still though, talk about throwing me under the bus: Apparently, I'm not dependable and I don't think this relationship will go anywhere. Well, thanks for telling me. I'll leave now.
Damage scale: 5
Recovery period: 3 weeks
4 weeks ago - RIP Brad Adwers
This is actually the one part that's still hard to write. I was playing hookey from work to help some friends when I got a call from my lead engineer, Kevin. I was almost done, so I ignored the call and got the voice mail a while later. Kevin's message was simple: "Keith, there's a situation. Call me back as soon as you get this." I immediately thought I had screwed something on the system and now Kevin was calling to chew me out on it (a highly likely situation). Instead, I got the worst piece of work news I've ever received: Our team's tech lead, Brad Adwers, had been found dead in his home. I still don't know cause of death, but it was no foul play. He had missed some time about a month prior due to having a seizure. He had been to the hospital, analyzed, and by all measure cleared with a clean bill of health. We can only assume he somehow had a relapse.
Now, not only was it simply the loss of a person, this was a member of my team of 6 people - the smallest in the company who heavily rely on each other. Brad was an awesome dude. Genial, gregarious, smart as an owl, and adapted faster than a chameleon. There's nothing about his passing that isn't just straight-up tragic. His Mom came to our office to collect his things and thanked all of us because her son talked about how much he was enjoying working with us. On the business side, he was spearheading an initiative with Kevin to move my product to the Amazon Cloud. We were going to cut costs, improve performance, become infinitely scalable, and serve as a model for future products at my company.
Brad, we were lucky for the time we had with you. Our product will make it into the cloud, and I've already started to develop a product that will follow in its footsteps. You helped set a foundation the will have a legacy.
Damage scale: 10
Recovery period: 8 weeks (but we have only days to replace the worker...)
3 weeks ago: A false positive
Alright, not all of the last 5 weeks were bad. I actually had one shining moment; a glimmer of hope; a ray of sunshine; a...OK, I'll stop now. Seriously though, I arranged our bi-annual team meeting at the Omni hotel, downtown LA, private board room, french-fusion bar, fantastic dinner and rooms for everyone - in a word: Awwwesome. Why downtown LA? Because the next morning we had to meet with LA County, our largest client representing 89 of our 136 facilities, to present at their quarterly user group.
For a little perspective, the first LA County user group I went to (as a lowly assistant at the time) was pretty brutal. Some dude on his blackberry constantly berated the product while never actually looking up to address us. Our champions in the room were very quiet. 18 months later, I'm in charge, I'm in the front of the room addressing 43 clients on the latest updates to the system, and I have complete control of the room. It was E-P-I-C. In my very short professional life, I have never had such a spectacular moment. Not only had we addressed their problems, not only were they salivating over the features I have planned for the second half of the year, but they were openly calling out the people in the room who weren't making use of the system. I've officially stolen Nextels' dead tag line: How Business Gets [D-U-N] Done.
Damage scale: 0
Recovery period: -2 weeks (earned time back)
2 weeks ago: The re-org
Well, that was fast (TWSS). 2 weeks ago I had a team of 6. At this point we were a team of 5 hearing rumblings from IT that that wasn't going to change. OK...but the current IT team has little-to-no bandwidth...something is up. The week starts with a call from on-high that the "product of the future" we've been speculating about for years is finally going to happen. And they're going to wreck my team to do it (OK fine, a few teams, but again, we're the little guy, WE feel the biggest impact).
By Wednesday, I'm hearing all kinds of rumors. Kevin is being shifted, then Brian is getting pulled away, Heather is dropping sales. People are casually throwing other project ideas at me. Finally, Thursday, I'm able to corral our COO and CFO [my product's Exec Champion] in a room and lay it all out for me. Let me quickly preface that the COO and CFO are by-far my favorite company Execs, but they're still the Execs and my job is still to fight for the product.
The COO says Brian (our Client Service Exec) has to move to our main product because of client needs. Heather is being forced to drop her sales pipeline and return to services. VP of engineering is asking about Kevin's availability to move to the future product, which maybe would have been possible if they'd bothered to listen to Kevin and I for the last 10 months ask for someone to cross-train on our platform so he COULD be replaced if/when the time came.
[Side note - When I heard Kevin's name floating around, I asked him what he thought and he point blank said, "They've been talking about the future product for 2 years. I'll believe it when I see it." He also added, "they operate [like a fart in the wind] most of the time. I've been trying forever to get them to work like you and I to actually plan feature builds."]
Thank gawd my CFO was in that meeting because I was not happy. The few things I said I delivered calmly and tried to make it clear that the COO was border-line gutting our team and setting Heather and me up for failure. That night at home I considered drafting a resignation letter. If the product is going to fail, so be it, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let the company just roll over onto us. We've put in too much time, too built too many relationships, and won too many battles to just walk away. Talk about killing ALL the momentum of the past week. I was PISSED.
The thing that held be back from the ledge Friday morning was that the COO agreed to come to our team meeting [which she has a standing invite to every Friday, but never attends]. She walked in, I addressed how there was a lot of information flying around and that the COO was here to clarify the situation, and turned over the floor. To her credit - and this is why in spite of being mad I still had faith she wouldn't hang us out to dry - the COO came in and immediately talked about how she was going to help us become more effective with less resources. She took to heart some of my ideas and already had things in the implementation phase. It still sucks for Heather and me, but at least we're a team of 3.5+ instead of a team of 2.
Damage scale - 7
Recovery period - 6 weeks (but the next 5 months are REALLY going to kick my ass)
Last week: I learn why it's called "The Mistake by the Lake"
By this point, I realize I'm in a rut. I'm not sleeping during the week and passing out on the weekends. I'm losing legitimate track of days. I attend the wedding of two good friends from business school and barely last 2 hours. The little time I do spend there, I joked that "going Cleveland has to be rock bottom, right?" I had no idea...
This isn't necessarily a story as it is an experience. I have been to some dumpy towns in my life. Kansas City, MO. Staten Island, NJ. Pisa, Italy. The thing about dumps is that they all have at least some redeeming value, kind of like dive bars. Dive bars always have something that you love: a bartender who knows you by name; a beer you can't find anywhere else; the right music always playing through the joint. Kansas City has good BBQ and a decent nightlife. Staten Island has real bagels and easy access to NYC. Pisa has a tower and gelato.
Cleveland, OH, has NOOOO redeeming value. It is far and away the deepest, darkest, shithole I've ever been to in my life. The city oozes depression, despair, and dysentery. And I was there on a non-triple digit, non-humid Summer weekend. The food, when it wasn't disgusting, was bland and boring. The city - and I was in the MIDDLE of downtown - was DEAD at night. We found out from a cabbie that occupancy in downtown Cleveland - commercial and residential COMBINED - is 40%. I think this number is high. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is kind of cool, but it's not very extensive and left me very unsatisfied.
I was there for my sister-in-law's sister's wedding (we were the Best Man/Maid of Honor at Steve's wedding). I flew across the country to attend and be with my brother. I did not get an invite to the rehearsal dinner. And what fine dining establishment was I blocked from? A BOWLING ALLEY!!! Apparently, me attending the rehearsal dinner was going to break the bank at the damn bowling alley. Instead, I setup at a Cleveland "hot-spot" down the block called Chocolate Bar. Now, this place kind of had it going on - nice decor and killer martini's - but we're in Cleveland. The vibe was very demure. There was a group out that looked like a bachelorette party, but I've never seen a pack of women with such bored faces. Lame. My personal highlight was looking over the menu and noticing crab cakes, which led to this exchange:
Me: "I see crab cakes on the menu, but where do you get them. Crabs don't come from the lake right?"
Bartender: "Yeah, I don't know. I think their supposed to be fresh."
Me: "Ringing endorsement. You ever had them?"
Bartender (as face kind of sours): "They're not very good."
Me: "So are any of the dinners good or should I just get a sandwich?"
Bartender (perking up): "Oh yeah, the sandwiches are great. I'm having a club on my break. It's great!"
It was average. At best. Ladies and Gentlemen: A high-class meal in Cleveland! At least I had a Sapphire Dirty to wash it down with.
Steve eventually snuk away from the bowling alley to join me. "Dude, it's so lame over there. I had to get away and hang out with you." Night in Cleveland, FTW!
The wedding was the type where the ceremony happens 3 hours before the reception. It was held in a very nice cathedral and, to the catholic priest's credit, the fire and brimstone was pretty moderate. My bro had to stay behind for pictures, so I returned to the hotel. An hour later my brother returned and found me in my room.
Steve [seeing me as he walked in]: "Hey bro. You doing alright?"
Me: "No. this town sucks. I just want to leave."
I nearly called American to see if there was a flight home that I could catch. Reception be damned. Steve kept me there. I now hate him.
The reception was OK. We did meet Uncle Jeff, the gun/hunting/fishing enthusiast who I got into a few drunken business discussion with. Still though, even my cab ride to the airport at 4am was depressing - the cabbie going on and on about people leaving town or ignoring the town, etc. Look, here's the bottom line: Your town is what you make it. All you people with love for Cleveland - as irrational as it seems to me - do something with it. No one is going to solve Cleveland's problems but Cleveland. You'll find a way as soon as you have the stones to look for it.
[Note: Just don't expect anything from me. I'm coming back for 3 more hours of my life to fulfill the life goal of seeing a NFL game in every NFL city and that is IT. Best of luck.]
Damage scale: Total
Recovery period: 0 weeks
That's the thing about moments like that. There was no more amount of shit on this planet that Gaia could have thrown on me to make me feel worse. There was nowhere to go but up...
Epilogue:
When I landed back in SD - a shell of the person I once was - I could have kissed the fat bearded guy working the skyway. Seriously, the sky was never so blue, the bay never so pristine, the smell of the ocean never so sweet. I've never been so happy to be out of a city in my entire life.
At the end of the day, I still have a massive uphill battle in front of me. Everyday I feel like Sisyphus pushing the rock for all eternity. Will crest the top of the hill? I'll know by December. Until then, I've cancelled all my Summer plans and am hunkering down for a long Fall. Why? I love my product. I love my clients. I love my [small] team. We love the feeling that what my product does for hospitals really matters. I just don't know if it matters to anyone else. I'm going to pose the question to my CFO when we meet and hopefully he cares [I believe he does]. I've already thanked him for being our lone voice in the boardroom, but even then I doubt it carries very far. Regardless the outcome, you can bet I will go down swinging.
Final count:
Total Damage points - 32+
Recovery weeks - 15
All compressed into a 5 week span. F$%k.
And if I do fail? Well, EFF it. I've survived a layoff once, I'll do it again. Hell, it'll actually be better that next time. I won't be racking up $40K in debt. But until then, I've still got a kick-ass job, I'm surrounded by spectacular people, I live in a place where Summer lasts from March to November, and have a room in a gorgeous house 1,000 feet from the break of the Pacific Ocean. There's only one way to hit back at life: In the face of anything and everything, live like you mean it.
Of course. that doesn't in-and-of itself motivate me or garnish a result. I still need a goal for me, right? I've got far too many sticks driving my life. I need a carrot. There's only one thing I know that will do the trick: Conquer a continent. Australia, you're on notice. I'll be on my way after Christmas. #5...
- Damage scale [1-10] - How big of a nutshot the event is to my life
- Recovery period - the expected amount of uneventful time that would result in me returning to normal*
5 weeks ago - Dumptown. Population: me.
I'd been seeing a girl for about 5 months, just over month seriously, when out of nowhere, she cuts it off. How abruptly you ask?
- 5 days prior: We were walking Manhattan Beach - dinner, pier, ice cream shoppe - constantly flirting. The night ended in her car, Best Buy parking lot, making out like two 17-year-olds. The only thing that would have made it better would be if a mall cop had rolled up on us.
- 3 days prior: Dinner at Ruths Chris in San Diego. And when the bill arrives, I found out she slipped her card to the waiter completely under my nose. How many women have bought me a dinner like that? -2 (I count when a girl pretends to want to pay for a dinner like that as negative - women, you're lying, we know you're lying, and it's insulting that we take you out somewhere nice like that and you try to act that way at the end)
- 1 day prior: 4 hours of "I just wanted to say 'Hi'" phone calls. Yeah...
- 2 hours prior: We're having a fantastic tapas dinner and she's talking about how she thinks the best couples have a healthy mix of similarities and differences and notes specific things about us.
- And then...
I'm not going to dive too deep into this, but the assessment from every person I know who knows me/her/us was the same: she got scared. Look, fair enough. I'm the first person to tell anyone (including her) that I'm no the easiest person to be with. I intentionally look at the world differently. Not necessarily right or wrong, but different. We are who we are; and while I don't believe that people change, they do evolve. Eventually I will evolve to the point where women aren't tuned out when being with me. Or at least that's my hope.
Still though, talk about throwing me under the bus: Apparently, I'm not dependable and I don't think this relationship will go anywhere. Well, thanks for telling me. I'll leave now.
Damage scale: 5
Recovery period: 3 weeks
4 weeks ago - RIP Brad Adwers
This is actually the one part that's still hard to write. I was playing hookey from work to help some friends when I got a call from my lead engineer, Kevin. I was almost done, so I ignored the call and got the voice mail a while later. Kevin's message was simple: "Keith, there's a situation. Call me back as soon as you get this." I immediately thought I had screwed something on the system and now Kevin was calling to chew me out on it (a highly likely situation). Instead, I got the worst piece of work news I've ever received: Our team's tech lead, Brad Adwers, had been found dead in his home. I still don't know cause of death, but it was no foul play. He had missed some time about a month prior due to having a seizure. He had been to the hospital, analyzed, and by all measure cleared with a clean bill of health. We can only assume he somehow had a relapse.
Now, not only was it simply the loss of a person, this was a member of my team of 6 people - the smallest in the company who heavily rely on each other. Brad was an awesome dude. Genial, gregarious, smart as an owl, and adapted faster than a chameleon. There's nothing about his passing that isn't just straight-up tragic. His Mom came to our office to collect his things and thanked all of us because her son talked about how much he was enjoying working with us. On the business side, he was spearheading an initiative with Kevin to move my product to the Amazon Cloud. We were going to cut costs, improve performance, become infinitely scalable, and serve as a model for future products at my company.
Brad, we were lucky for the time we had with you. Our product will make it into the cloud, and I've already started to develop a product that will follow in its footsteps. You helped set a foundation the will have a legacy.
Damage scale: 10
Recovery period: 8 weeks (but we have only days to replace the worker...)
3 weeks ago: A false positive
Alright, not all of the last 5 weeks were bad. I actually had one shining moment; a glimmer of hope; a ray of sunshine; a...OK, I'll stop now. Seriously though, I arranged our bi-annual team meeting at the Omni hotel, downtown LA, private board room, french-fusion bar, fantastic dinner and rooms for everyone - in a word: Awwwesome. Why downtown LA? Because the next morning we had to meet with LA County, our largest client representing 89 of our 136 facilities, to present at their quarterly user group.
For a little perspective, the first LA County user group I went to (as a lowly assistant at the time) was pretty brutal. Some dude on his blackberry constantly berated the product while never actually looking up to address us. Our champions in the room were very quiet. 18 months later, I'm in charge, I'm in the front of the room addressing 43 clients on the latest updates to the system, and I have complete control of the room. It was E-P-I-C. In my very short professional life, I have never had such a spectacular moment. Not only had we addressed their problems, not only were they salivating over the features I have planned for the second half of the year, but they were openly calling out the people in the room who weren't making use of the system. I've officially stolen Nextels' dead tag line: How Business Gets [D-U-N] Done.
Damage scale: 0
Recovery period: -2 weeks (earned time back)
2 weeks ago: The re-org
Well, that was fast (TWSS). 2 weeks ago I had a team of 6. At this point we were a team of 5 hearing rumblings from IT that that wasn't going to change. OK...but the current IT team has little-to-no bandwidth...something is up. The week starts with a call from on-high that the "product of the future" we've been speculating about for years is finally going to happen. And they're going to wreck my team to do it (OK fine, a few teams, but again, we're the little guy, WE feel the biggest impact).
By Wednesday, I'm hearing all kinds of rumors. Kevin is being shifted, then Brian is getting pulled away, Heather is dropping sales. People are casually throwing other project ideas at me. Finally, Thursday, I'm able to corral our COO and CFO [my product's Exec Champion] in a room and lay it all out for me. Let me quickly preface that the COO and CFO are by-far my favorite company Execs, but they're still the Execs and my job is still to fight for the product.
The COO says Brian (our Client Service Exec) has to move to our main product because of client needs. Heather is being forced to drop her sales pipeline and return to services. VP of engineering is asking about Kevin's availability to move to the future product, which maybe would have been possible if they'd bothered to listen to Kevin and I for the last 10 months ask for someone to cross-train on our platform so he COULD be replaced if/when the time came.
[Side note - When I heard Kevin's name floating around, I asked him what he thought and he point blank said, "They've been talking about the future product for 2 years. I'll believe it when I see it." He also added, "they operate [like a fart in the wind] most of the time. I've been trying forever to get them to work like you and I to actually plan feature builds."]
Thank gawd my CFO was in that meeting because I was not happy. The few things I said I delivered calmly and tried to make it clear that the COO was border-line gutting our team and setting Heather and me up for failure. That night at home I considered drafting a resignation letter. If the product is going to fail, so be it, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let the company just roll over onto us. We've put in too much time, too built too many relationships, and won too many battles to just walk away. Talk about killing ALL the momentum of the past week. I was PISSED.
The thing that held be back from the ledge Friday morning was that the COO agreed to come to our team meeting [which she has a standing invite to every Friday, but never attends]. She walked in, I addressed how there was a lot of information flying around and that the COO was here to clarify the situation, and turned over the floor. To her credit - and this is why in spite of being mad I still had faith she wouldn't hang us out to dry - the COO came in and immediately talked about how she was going to help us become more effective with less resources. She took to heart some of my ideas and already had things in the implementation phase. It still sucks for Heather and me, but at least we're a team of 3.5+ instead of a team of 2.
Damage scale - 7
Recovery period - 6 weeks (but the next 5 months are REALLY going to kick my ass)
Last week: I learn why it's called "The Mistake by the Lake"
By this point, I realize I'm in a rut. I'm not sleeping during the week and passing out on the weekends. I'm losing legitimate track of days. I attend the wedding of two good friends from business school and barely last 2 hours. The little time I do spend there, I joked that "going Cleveland has to be rock bottom, right?" I had no idea...
This isn't necessarily a story as it is an experience. I have been to some dumpy towns in my life. Kansas City, MO. Staten Island, NJ. Pisa, Italy. The thing about dumps is that they all have at least some redeeming value, kind of like dive bars. Dive bars always have something that you love: a bartender who knows you by name; a beer you can't find anywhere else; the right music always playing through the joint. Kansas City has good BBQ and a decent nightlife. Staten Island has real bagels and easy access to NYC. Pisa has a tower and gelato.
Cleveland, OH, has NOOOO redeeming value. It is far and away the deepest, darkest, shithole I've ever been to in my life. The city oozes depression, despair, and dysentery. And I was there on a non-triple digit, non-humid Summer weekend. The food, when it wasn't disgusting, was bland and boring. The city - and I was in the MIDDLE of downtown - was DEAD at night. We found out from a cabbie that occupancy in downtown Cleveland - commercial and residential COMBINED - is 40%. I think this number is high. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is kind of cool, but it's not very extensive and left me very unsatisfied.
I was there for my sister-in-law's sister's wedding (we were the Best Man/Maid of Honor at Steve's wedding). I flew across the country to attend and be with my brother. I did not get an invite to the rehearsal dinner. And what fine dining establishment was I blocked from? A BOWLING ALLEY!!! Apparently, me attending the rehearsal dinner was going to break the bank at the damn bowling alley. Instead, I setup at a Cleveland "hot-spot" down the block called Chocolate Bar. Now, this place kind of had it going on - nice decor and killer martini's - but we're in Cleveland. The vibe was very demure. There was a group out that looked like a bachelorette party, but I've never seen a pack of women with such bored faces. Lame. My personal highlight was looking over the menu and noticing crab cakes, which led to this exchange:
Me: "I see crab cakes on the menu, but where do you get them. Crabs don't come from the lake right?"
Bartender: "Yeah, I don't know. I think their supposed to be fresh."
Me: "Ringing endorsement. You ever had them?"
Bartender (as face kind of sours): "They're not very good."
Me: "So are any of the dinners good or should I just get a sandwich?"
Bartender (perking up): "Oh yeah, the sandwiches are great. I'm having a club on my break. It's great!"
It was average. At best. Ladies and Gentlemen: A high-class meal in Cleveland! At least I had a Sapphire Dirty to wash it down with.
Steve eventually snuk away from the bowling alley to join me. "Dude, it's so lame over there. I had to get away and hang out with you." Night in Cleveland, FTW!
The wedding was the type where the ceremony happens 3 hours before the reception. It was held in a very nice cathedral and, to the catholic priest's credit, the fire and brimstone was pretty moderate. My bro had to stay behind for pictures, so I returned to the hotel. An hour later my brother returned and found me in my room.
Steve [seeing me as he walked in]: "Hey bro. You doing alright?"
Me: "No. this town sucks. I just want to leave."
I nearly called American to see if there was a flight home that I could catch. Reception be damned. Steve kept me there. I now hate him.
The reception was OK. We did meet Uncle Jeff, the gun/hunting/fishing enthusiast who I got into a few drunken business discussion with. Still though, even my cab ride to the airport at 4am was depressing - the cabbie going on and on about people leaving town or ignoring the town, etc. Look, here's the bottom line: Your town is what you make it. All you people with love for Cleveland - as irrational as it seems to me - do something with it. No one is going to solve Cleveland's problems but Cleveland. You'll find a way as soon as you have the stones to look for it.
[Note: Just don't expect anything from me. I'm coming back for 3 more hours of my life to fulfill the life goal of seeing a NFL game in every NFL city and that is IT. Best of luck.]
Damage scale: Total
Recovery period: 0 weeks
That's the thing about moments like that. There was no more amount of shit on this planet that Gaia could have thrown on me to make me feel worse. There was nowhere to go but up...
Epilogue:
When I landed back in SD - a shell of the person I once was - I could have kissed the fat bearded guy working the skyway. Seriously, the sky was never so blue, the bay never so pristine, the smell of the ocean never so sweet. I've never been so happy to be out of a city in my entire life.
At the end of the day, I still have a massive uphill battle in front of me. Everyday I feel like Sisyphus pushing the rock for all eternity. Will crest the top of the hill? I'll know by December. Until then, I've cancelled all my Summer plans and am hunkering down for a long Fall. Why? I love my product. I love my clients. I love my [small] team. We love the feeling that what my product does for hospitals really matters. I just don't know if it matters to anyone else. I'm going to pose the question to my CFO when we meet and hopefully he cares [I believe he does]. I've already thanked him for being our lone voice in the boardroom, but even then I doubt it carries very far. Regardless the outcome, you can bet I will go down swinging.
Final count:
Total Damage points - 32+
Recovery weeks - 15
All compressed into a 5 week span. F$%k.
And if I do fail? Well, EFF it. I've survived a layoff once, I'll do it again. Hell, it'll actually be better that next time. I won't be racking up $40K in debt. But until then, I've still got a kick-ass job, I'm surrounded by spectacular people, I live in a place where Summer lasts from March to November, and have a room in a gorgeous house 1,000 feet from the break of the Pacific Ocean. There's only one way to hit back at life: In the face of anything and everything, live like you mean it.
Of course. that doesn't in-and-of itself motivate me or garnish a result. I still need a goal for me, right? I've got far too many sticks driving my life. I need a carrot. There's only one thing I know that will do the trick: Conquer a continent. Australia, you're on notice. I'll be on my way after Christmas. #5...
Friday, July 15, 2011
Why I knew "Carmageddon" was complete Bullsh!t
First, yes, I will address the fact that I'm throwing this up post-event. I have no excuse. It's been a shitty few weeks and I was too lazy to throw this post up. This is my absolute opinion and, no, I don't care if you doubt me.
2 months ago, when I first heard the term "Carmageddon", I instantly thought to the greatest columnist of all time: Mr. Jim Murray. See, Jim knew LA in ways that only true SoCal people know it. Most importantly, he was one of the very, very minute few who can actually explain that depth of understanding.
For this I refer to his column from February 2nd, 1993, "Image Problem is Everything". This is in particular one very dear to me because it was his article published about the Superbowl I had just attended at the Rose Bowl on my 12th birthday (Michael Jackson was the halftime). Anyway, to wit:
"The night before the game, the powers that be were panicky. They were afraid it might rain on their Super Bowl.
"Hah!
"Why didn't they come to me? Never mind the weather bureau, isobars, occluded fronts and all that malarkey.
"I don't have to meteorology. I know L.A.
...
"When L.A. knows the world is going to be looking in on her, she gets out the eye shadow, lipstick, puts on her net stockings, her highest heels and shortest skirt, piles her hair up in a beehive, bats her eyes and adopts her most seductive pose.
...
"I remember when we had the Olympics in '84. A crew from British television came to my home. They began the interview with negatives. L.A. would be too hot, too smoggy, the traffic would be horrendous. And so on.
"I sighed.
"'Let me tell you something,' I said to them. 'L.A. will be gorgeous. Sunshine, palm trees, card tricks. The traffic will be nothing. We get 100,000 people at the coliseum lots of times. We get a million and a half in Pasadena every New Year's. We handle it. There won't even be any smog. That old strumpet L.A. will be at her chamber-of-commerce best.'
"She was. I think it was the only time in history, or since the invention of the motor car, there wasn't even a rush hour.
...
[Jim goes on to explain that this is why L.A. has become so overcrowded and recommends new sports broadcast guidelines for the City of Angels. The whole list is funny, but these are some gems:]
"2. Tickets will not be sold to anybody with a tan.
"5. NBC will be forbidden to photograph the magnificent backdrop of the San Gabriel mountains - unless they are on fire.
"7. The network will be barred from televising the Rose Parade, since we don't want to leave viewers with the impression we live in a place where you can grow roses in January. To discourage even attendance at the Rose Parade, we will lobby to have Saddam Hussein named grand marshal.
...
"These would help. So would real rain. But when L.A. knows the cameras are on, you can't even seed the clouds. There aren't any."
...and that's why I knew "Carmageddon" was bullshit before it even happened. Does it suck trying to navigate L.A. on an average Summer weekend? Of course. You've got 13 million overheating people trying to hit the beach. But to sell this one weekend as "The 4 horsemen of the apocalypse shall ride the streets of the valley, strewing the parts of gas guzzlers upon the unwashed masses" is just plain dumb.
What actually happened? Half of a bridge came down, people hung out at places around their neighborhoods (probably making new friends over wisecracks about the shutdown), and the project finished early with no reported issues. Once again, L.A. knew the cameras were on.
[I can't end this w/o a final note: Thanks Mom. In today's world of backstabbing, mindless, drivel-spewing columnists, Thank You for every morning before school laying out the L.A. Times Sports Section to read while having a bowl of cereal. You allowed Jim Murray become a standard worthy of both reverence and remembrance that I will carry forever.]
2 months ago, when I first heard the term "Carmageddon", I instantly thought to the greatest columnist of all time: Mr. Jim Murray. See, Jim knew LA in ways that only true SoCal people know it. Most importantly, he was one of the very, very minute few who can actually explain that depth of understanding.
For this I refer to his column from February 2nd, 1993, "Image Problem is Everything". This is in particular one very dear to me because it was his article published about the Superbowl I had just attended at the Rose Bowl on my 12th birthday (Michael Jackson was the halftime). Anyway, to wit:
"The night before the game, the powers that be were panicky. They were afraid it might rain on their Super Bowl.
"Hah!
"Why didn't they come to me? Never mind the weather bureau, isobars, occluded fronts and all that malarkey.
"I don't have to meteorology. I know L.A.
...
"When L.A. knows the world is going to be looking in on her, she gets out the eye shadow, lipstick, puts on her net stockings, her highest heels and shortest skirt, piles her hair up in a beehive, bats her eyes and adopts her most seductive pose.
...
"I remember when we had the Olympics in '84. A crew from British television came to my home. They began the interview with negatives. L.A. would be too hot, too smoggy, the traffic would be horrendous. And so on.
"I sighed.
"'Let me tell you something,' I said to them. 'L.A. will be gorgeous. Sunshine, palm trees, card tricks. The traffic will be nothing. We get 100,000 people at the coliseum lots of times. We get a million and a half in Pasadena every New Year's. We handle it. There won't even be any smog. That old strumpet L.A. will be at her chamber-of-commerce best.'
"She was. I think it was the only time in history, or since the invention of the motor car, there wasn't even a rush hour.
...
[Jim goes on to explain that this is why L.A. has become so overcrowded and recommends new sports broadcast guidelines for the City of Angels. The whole list is funny, but these are some gems:]
"2. Tickets will not be sold to anybody with a tan.
"5. NBC will be forbidden to photograph the magnificent backdrop of the San Gabriel mountains - unless they are on fire.
"7. The network will be barred from televising the Rose Parade, since we don't want to leave viewers with the impression we live in a place where you can grow roses in January. To discourage even attendance at the Rose Parade, we will lobby to have Saddam Hussein named grand marshal.
...
"These would help. So would real rain. But when L.A. knows the cameras are on, you can't even seed the clouds. There aren't any."
...and that's why I knew "Carmageddon" was bullshit before it even happened. Does it suck trying to navigate L.A. on an average Summer weekend? Of course. You've got 13 million overheating people trying to hit the beach. But to sell this one weekend as "The 4 horsemen of the apocalypse shall ride the streets of the valley, strewing the parts of gas guzzlers upon the unwashed masses" is just plain dumb.
What actually happened? Half of a bridge came down, people hung out at places around their neighborhoods (probably making new friends over wisecracks about the shutdown), and the project finished early with no reported issues. Once again, L.A. knew the cameras were on.
[I can't end this w/o a final note: Thanks Mom. In today's world of backstabbing, mindless, drivel-spewing columnists, Thank You for every morning before school laying out the L.A. Times Sports Section to read while having a bowl of cereal. You allowed Jim Murray become a standard worthy of both reverence and remembrance that I will carry forever.]
Monday, May 2, 2011
Osama Bin Over
I was on the brink of falling asleep last night, thinking that I could get up early this morning and suck up to my bosses, err, I mean, "get some work done", when I decided to flip on the TV for a few moments before hitting the sack. I started changing once I saw the ticker on CBS news and was headed to Times Square as soon as Obama finished his address. After experiencing some of the revelry there, it only seemed right to head to Ground Zero. There were modest crowds – probably 750 in Times Square, 1,200 at GZ – but there was pride, patriotism, and – most of all – relief. The groups broke out into spontaneous chants and songs of our country: Star Spangled Banner, America the Beautiful, “U-S-A”, “nah-nah-nah-nah Goodbye” (my ironic favorite), God Bless America, and the Pledge of Allegiance. People hugged firefighters, shook hands with police, and military personnel climbed street poles to address the crowds with uproarious applause. I started to move back towards my hotel around 2:30am as the crowds began to descend into a little less revelry and a bit more jackassery (Keithism).
NYC wasn’t any different when I awoke this morning; construction was going on, a siren sounded, cabbies honked, and I’m probably going to get an unpleasant cavity search at JFK in a few hours. But with the 10th anniversary of 9/11 only a few months away, I do believe that the world is a better place now that the pale of one truly sinister a****** will not be part of it.
The first five shots from this gallery are from Times Square, the next few and videos are from Ground Zero. I also threw in a shot of my seats from the Yankee game on Saturday b/c, well, come on! Look at that! Against the bottom wall at Yankee Stadium watching Rivera get a save! I gotta brag a little bit…
https://picasaweb.google.com/burke75/OsamaBinOver?authkey=Gv1sRgCNzgqrX56-uFUw&feat=directlink
U-S-A
NYC wasn’t any different when I awoke this morning; construction was going on, a siren sounded, cabbies honked, and I’m probably going to get an unpleasant cavity search at JFK in a few hours. But with the 10th anniversary of 9/11 only a few months away, I do believe that the world is a better place now that the pale of one truly sinister a****** will not be part of it.
The first five shots from this gallery are from Times Square, the next few and videos are from Ground Zero. I also threw in a shot of my seats from the Yankee game on Saturday b/c, well, come on! Look at that! Against the bottom wall at Yankee Stadium watching Rivera get a save! I gotta brag a little bit…
https://picasaweb.google.com/burke75/OsamaBinOver?authkey=Gv1sRgCNzgqrX56-uFUw&feat=directlink
U-S-A
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Why UCSB will beat Florida in the NCAA Tournament
This is why - not how, I dare not attempt to predict that - the Gauchos are winning on Thursday:
- Gotta be hot going in - UCSB was 0-6 against Pacific, Northridge, and Long Beach State this season. They beat all 3 very strongly to win the Big West title and make the Big Dance.
- Experience matters - UCSB made the field last year and got caught being happy to be there. This year, the team knows what to do to win a game and wants that W.
- Orlando Johnson remembers he is Orlando Johnson - "Last year’s Conference Player of the Year dominated Long Beach St. just as he dominated Ohio St. in the NCAA tourney last year." - Jim Rome. In a wide-open field with no true superstars, the O-Dawg has as good a chance as anyone to make a name for himself.
- Box Score Don't Lie - Piggybacking on point #3, look at last years' box score from the Ohio St. game. See Orlando Johnson? Baller. See the rest of the team? Scared. See how the Gauchos played so much better in the 2nd half? Team of Ballers. That script is going to pick up where it left off for an E-P-I-C sequel.
- The Universe has a plan #1 - The 15-seeded Gauchos get a second chance. Never give a underdog a second chance.
- The Universe has a plan #2 -
- The Universe has a plan #3 - Right now, Odin, Zeus, God, Buddha, Krishna, Allah, Poseidon, Jesus, Shiva, Hermes, Moses, Thor, Vishnu, Hades, Mohammad, Kali, Loki, Michael the Archangel, et al are all looking at their brackets and laughing their righteous a$$es off at UCSB vs UCLA in the 2nd round because they know that it will possibly cause the greatest physical, mental, and emotional meltdown of ALL TIME in a beachside borough of San Diego. I'm talking Ace Ventura burn-your-clothes-and-curl-up-in-the-fetal-position-crying-while-naked-the-floor-of-a-shower-with-the-water-running-because-you-just-realized-you-slept-with-a-man breakdown. The heavens aren't passing up this chance to ruin me.
- 1991 - (15) Richmond 73, (2) Syracuse 69
2001 - (15) Hampton 58, (2) Iowa State 57
2011 - It's going to happen.
Long Island over North Carolina? Child please! Akron over Notre Dame? Not the way ND is playing and Ohio St. is using all of Ohio's mojo this tourney. Northern Colorado over SDSU? As much as I have no trust in SDSU (losing to Temple in round #2), the "other" UNC is like UCSB last year - just happy to be there. It's going to be UCSB against an over-seeded Florida.
(Note: 15 seeds did not exist prior to 1985)
There you have it. I close with Rome:
"Let me say this: I won’t guarantee a Gaucho win. But I will guarantee two things; one, if they do win, kegs will be tapped and couches will be burned in Isla Vista. And two, if they lose, kegs will be tapped and couches will be burned in Isla Vista. As always, either way, we win. War Gauchos!"
P.S. - OK fine, one real reason why this can actually happen:
Run, run, run - Florida has the size and power advantage. UCSB some size to counter Florida, but more importantly has the depth. If Bob Williams is smart - and I believe he is - The Gauchos are going to crash the boards and run the break as much as possible to wear down the Florida bigs. Turn Florida into jump shooters,and watch them clang their way to defeat. (But it's really going to happen for the esoteric reasons I listed above for why the Gauchos will be achieving greatness)
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