At long last it was time to leave Espana. We were using Ryanair to get to Germany, which required a trip up the coast to Girona. We had to whole day to travel, so we slept in and lazily made our way to the bus station. I had toyed with the idea of stopping at one point on the trip to check out the home of Salvido Dali, but I couldn't figure out how to get there. In the end we opted for the direct route to Girona. The bus ride was fairly uneventful and we arrived without much fanfare.
We found a place for the night near the airport and hopped a bus into the heart Girona for a little site-seeing. Girona is a sleepy little town built around the banks of a river. There is an "old" and "new" side the the city. The new side gives in to tech shops and a large shopping center. The old side has the most character of course. Narrow streets sweep across each other into small squares lined with people's balconies.
We settled into a restaurant in a square and just enjoyed a down evening. We spent most of the time recounting our feats of Spain and comparing sites we'd visited. After dinner we returned to the hotel. Since we were not quite ready to settle in, I noticed a tap at the bar next to the front desk. It also just happens to be about 10am on the East Coast on Saturday, which means...College Football!!! We proceed to grab 4 beers and head up to our room.
Let me reminisce for a moment. I'm in the hotel room in a small city in Northeastern Spain...and we're huddling around Eric's laptop to watch College Football. Way to go team.
Anyway, our Internet connection wasn't great, but we put down a few rounds of beers and had a good time*. The next day was off to Germany and Oktoberfest! The reason for the trip was about to arrive.
* - Save for a moment of awkwardness I cannot recount here.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Spain Day 7
One of the benefits of our nicer room was that there is a shade that lowers to add extra darkness to the room. I was awoken by Eric raising the shade:
Keith: "WTF man? It's like 8 in the morning. Why are you up?"
Eric: "It's 12:30."
Keith: "Oh. Hahaha. Dude, last night was awesome."
Eric had gotten a text from Mindy around 11:30 asking if we were functional yet. Thinking she'd probably taken off, we called anyway and found out she was still at the hotel (Joel and Anisha had taken off to see some stuff she wasn't interested in). Eric said he wanted to make a point of seeing La Segrada Familia, a church being built in Barcelona that's supposed to be an architectural wonder. Cool, let's get cleaned up and head that way.
After a brief detour because I can't read subway signs correctly, we reached the place and all I can say on first impression is "Wow." A little background: La Segrada Familia is a church being built in Barcelona since the late 1800s. Its original architect is a man by the name of Antoni Gaudi who evolved entirely new styles of art and architecture. La Segrada Familia was essentially his last project and he did not keep many blueprints (the last original was destroyed in the Spanish Revolution). Still, the core idea of his design is still being followed. The church is to be the largest in Barcelona with its towers reaching the highest points of the city so that all incoming merchants will gaze upon it as the first major site of the city when they arrive. The design calls for 18 towers total - 12 for the Apostles, 4 for the Evangelists, one for the Virgin Mary and the tallest - at 170m - for Jesus. The project is set to be completed by 2030.
Back to the present: though the project is still under construction, it is still incredibly impressive. The delays on it have been largely due to funding and fighting woes, but even without those the intricacy of the design would still take decades to complete. The Western facade was most completed while Gaudi was still alive and is by far the most impressive part. The main focus is on the Nativity, but includes many other visual references to early Bible stories. We literally couldn't take it all in. Mindy even had a audio guide and most of the things it pointed out she had a hard time finding. The detail was just incredible.
The Eastern side was also very complete, though you can tell the style is very different. This facade is focused on the Cruxifiction. Here the view is much less detailed and feels much more modern. Though not as visually stimulating as the Western facade, there are still some cool features. The faces of the characters are concave, so that as you move around the front it appears as if the faces are following you (kind of like the busts in the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland). The angled pillars also give a sense that you are literally ascending into the church as you walk in. It's pretty amazing.
We took the tour throughout the church and though many parts are still under construction, you definitely get a sense of the grandeur the place will give off once complete. The exhibits that show the design and development of the church are pretty interesting as well. They show how Gaudi revolutionized architectural modelling by building his arches upside-down so that gravity would achieve the perfect arch, which he could cast and turn right-side up. I had also noticed some of the tops of the smaller towers looked like fruit baskets and grapes bunches. It turns out these were intentionally part of the design to highlight the Spanish countryside. Cultural awareness, FTW!
Having fulfilled our culture quota for the day, we decided to try to spice things up a bit by finding a spot called "Museu de L'Erotica" (yes, it is what it sounds like) down on La Rambla. The guide I had said it exhibited "seeming impossible sexual positions." Seemingly? We're intrigued. Sadly, we weren't able to find it. I may have had the wrong address, though tripadvisor said you could be right in front of it and not realize it, so oh well.
We did check out another cathedral near La Rambla and did a bit more sightseeing before sitting down at a cafe for a break. We ordered a few mojitos, plus some sparking wine for Mindy, and just kind of rehashed the last week of fun. Joel and Anisha texted to let us know they were headed to a wine bar close to where we were so we figured we'd track them down in a while. To our surprise, they ended up walking right by us on their way there. Too funny. They needed to go to the restaurant where Joel had left his debit card the previous day and we had to close our tab, so we said we'd see them at the wine bar shortly.
To this point, the weather had been overcast and there had been some drizzle, but the skies had only threatened rain. That changed quickly. As soon as Joel and Anisha left, the skies opened up. Eric and I only had on jeans and polos. Mindy had a light jacket, but did have a small umbrella. Eric and I tried hopping from overhang to overhang, but were getting pretty wet. Mindy smartly flagged down a cab to take us the extra 1/2 mile we needed to go. One problem: the last 100m or so were inaccessible to car. Second problem: in the 5 mins we were in the taxi it began to friggin' POUR!
The cabbie got us as close as he could and Eric and I jumped out and ran to the side of a building looking for cover - except there was none! We literally had a 3 stooges moment, with the two of us pivoting around, not sure what to do, getting absolutely soaked and looking like total idiots. We spied a cafe across the street and darted in. The two workers looked at us with shocked looks as we stumbled in, laughing our asses off at how stupid we must have looked. Mindy decided she was going to get to the wine bar and grab Joel's umbrella to get Eric and I there. In the meantime Eric and I smartly ordered some hot drinks to warm up. Mindy returned a few mins later and we hoofed it to the bar.
The place was packed because so many people had been driven in by the rain, but the place was pretty sweet and we were able to carve out a space. We caught up with the Hutchinsons and killed a couple bottles, laughing about the craziness of the last few days. Mindy, Eric, and I had not eaten, so we crossed the plaza to a little bar-restaurant called Vascelum where we had an awesome final meal in Barcelona.
Mindy had to go because she was flying home the next day and Eric and I wanted to try to hit a club one more time. Anisha and Joel were looking to stay at the wine bar, so we bid them adieu. We got back to the hotel and said goodbye to Mindy. As we were getting changed for the night, we remembered we still didn't have a place our first night in Munich. 4 beers and 45 misn later we finally found a spot. Turns out it took so long that as we were headed out we ran into Joel and Anisha. The wine bar had closed early so they were back and interested in hanging out more. Eric and I had read about a spot called "La Terraza" near our hotel so the four of us headed out.
Unfortunately, this trek turned into an epic fail. We found the right place and the travel book we had said it would be open, but there was no one around. We found a group of workers cleaning up from some other event and they couldn't explain why it was closed. Apparently it had even been open the night before. By this time it was late, so we called it. Disappointing finish, but still an awesome city. Barcelona, FTW!
Keith: "WTF man? It's like 8 in the morning. Why are you up?"
Eric: "It's 12:30."
Keith
Eric had gotten a text from Mindy around 11:30 asking if we were functional yet. Thinking she'd probably taken off, we called anyway and found out she was still at the hotel (Joel and Anisha had taken off to see some stuff she wasn't interested in). Eric said he wanted to make a point of seeing La Segrada Familia, a church being built in Barcelona that's supposed to be an architectural wonder. Cool, let's get cleaned up and head that way.
After a brief detour because I can't read subway signs correctly, we reached the place and all I can say on first impression is "Wow." A little background: La Segrada Familia is a church being built in Barcelona since the late 1800s. Its original architect is a man by the name of Antoni Gaudi who evolved entirely new styles of art and architecture. La Segrada Familia was essentially his last project and he did not keep many blueprints (the last original was destroyed in the Spanish Revolution). Still, the core idea of his design is still being followed. The church is to be the largest in Barcelona with its towers reaching the highest points of the city so that all incoming merchants will gaze upon it as the first major site of the city when they arrive. The design calls for 18 towers total - 12 for the Apostles, 4 for the Evangelists, one for the Virgin Mary and the tallest - at 170m - for Jesus. The project is set to be completed by 2030.
Back to the present: though the project is still under construction, it is still incredibly impressive. The delays on it have been largely due to funding and fighting woes, but even without those the intricacy of the design would still take decades to complete. The Western facade was most completed while Gaudi was still alive and is by far the most impressive part. The main focus is on the Nativity, but includes many other visual references to early Bible stories. We literally couldn't take it all in. Mindy even had a audio guide and most of the things it pointed out she had a hard time finding. The detail was just incredible.
The Eastern side was also very complete, though you can tell the style is very different. This facade is focused on the Cruxifiction. Here the view is much less detailed and feels much more modern. Though not as visually stimulating as the Western facade, there are still some cool features. The faces of the characters are concave, so that as you move around the front it appears as if the faces are following you (kind of like the busts in the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland). The angled pillars also give a sense that you are literally ascending into the church as you walk in. It's pretty amazing.
We took the tour throughout the church and though many parts are still under construction, you definitely get a sense of the grandeur the place will give off once complete. The exhibits that show the design and development of the church are pretty interesting as well. They show how Gaudi revolutionized architectural modelling by building his arches upside-down so that gravity would achieve the perfect arch, which he could cast and turn right-side up. I had also noticed some of the tops of the smaller towers looked like fruit baskets and grapes bunches. It turns out these were intentionally part of the design to highlight the Spanish countryside. Cultural awareness, FTW!
Having fulfilled our culture quota for the day, we decided to try to spice things up a bit by finding a spot called "Museu de L'Erotica" (yes, it is what it sounds like) down on La Rambla. The guide I had said it exhibited "seeming impossible sexual positions." Seemingly? We're intrigued. Sadly, we weren't able to find it. I may have had the wrong address, though tripadvisor said you could be right in front of it and not realize it, so oh well.
We did check out another cathedral near La Rambla and did a bit more sightseeing before sitting down at a cafe for a break. We ordered a few mojitos, plus some sparking wine for Mindy, and just kind of rehashed the last week of fun. Joel and Anisha texted to let us know they were headed to a wine bar close to where we were so we figured we'd track them down in a while. To our surprise, they ended up walking right by us on their way there. Too funny. They needed to go to the restaurant where Joel had left his debit card the previous day and we had to close our tab, so we said we'd see them at the wine bar shortly.
To this point, the weather had been overcast and there had been some drizzle, but the skies had only threatened rain. That changed quickly. As soon as Joel and Anisha left, the skies opened up. Eric and I only had on jeans and polos. Mindy had a light jacket, but did have a small umbrella. Eric and I tried hopping from overhang to overhang, but were getting pretty wet. Mindy smartly flagged down a cab to take us the extra 1/2 mile we needed to go. One problem: the last 100m or so were inaccessible to car. Second problem: in the 5 mins we were in the taxi it began to friggin' POUR!
The cabbie got us as close as he could and Eric and I jumped out and ran to the side of a building looking for cover - except there was none! We literally had a 3 stooges moment, with the two of us pivoting around, not sure what to do, getting absolutely soaked and looking like total idiots. We spied a cafe across the street and darted in. The two workers looked at us with shocked looks as we stumbled in, laughing our asses off at how stupid we must have looked. Mindy decided she was going to get to the wine bar and grab Joel's umbrella to get Eric and I there. In the meantime Eric and I smartly ordered some hot drinks to warm up. Mindy returned a few mins later and we hoofed it to the bar.
The place was packed because so many people had been driven in by the rain, but the place was pretty sweet and we were able to carve out a space. We caught up with the Hutchinsons and killed a couple bottles, laughing about the craziness of the last few days. Mindy, Eric, and I had not eaten, so we crossed the plaza to a little bar-restaurant called Vascelum where we had an awesome final meal in Barcelona.
Mindy had to go because she was flying home the next day and Eric and I wanted to try to hit a club one more time. Anisha and Joel were looking to stay at the wine bar, so we bid them adieu. We got back to the hotel and said goodbye to Mindy. As we were getting changed for the night, we remembered we still didn't have a place our first night in Munich. 4 beers and 45 misn later we finally found a spot. Turns out it took so long that as we were headed out we ran into Joel and Anisha. The wine bar had closed early so they were back and interested in hanging out more. Eric and I had read about a spot called "La Terraza" near our hotel so the four of us headed out.
Unfortunately, this trek turned into an epic fail. We found the right place and the travel book we had said it would be open, but there was no one around. We found a group of workers cleaning up from some other event and they couldn't explain why it was closed. Apparently it had even been open the night before. By this time it was late, so we called it. Disappointing finish, but still an awesome city. Barcelona, FTW!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Spain Day 6
Well, that was nice while it lasted.
I awake to our living situation apparently having sparked a mental breakdown. There are tears, curses, whining, so I do the gentlemanly thing - I roll over and go back to sleep. Yes, I know, it's amazing I'm still single.
A while later I get up and talk to the guy that was in charge. He claims they have a place for us to move to that was what we were expecting, but people are skeptical and on-edge. I find out we can get out of our reservation free because of the screwup. Fair enough. I tell Anisha to pick two places to investigate and tell the others to go grab breakfast. We'll check it out and be back shortly.
We arrived at the first spot - an Ayre hotel - and everything looks pretty nice. The rates aren't too high and the only catch is we won't have a room Saturday night. Our flight Sunday is actually out of another city to the North anyway, so we figure it'll be fine to leave Barcelona a day earlier than planned. Crisis over. Drinks for everyone!
We collect the rest of the group and get moved into the new place. Another big benefit - Eric and I get the bachelor room. Booyah! We grabbed lunch and Joel was obviously still feeling pretty crappy. We dropped him back at the hotel to rest and the 4 of us cruised to the beach. the beach in Barcelona was nice, but not quite as good as San Sebastian. Since it's on the Med, the water is much saltier and doesn't have any surf. It still beat the hell out of anything in SoCal though (OK, I'm done bashing the shitty SoCal Summer. I mean it. Maybe...)
We did crack up at some of people that were hawking promotions on the beach. Two different people came up to Mindy and Anisha trying to promote some new sushi joint/club with some crazy offers (free cover, 15Euro all you-can-eat). We're from California, possibly the 2nd best place for sushi other than Japan. There's no way we're going to trust sushi out here, especially not at crazy discounts. The other entertaining moment was a lady walking around offering Asian massages. We could tell she wasn't supposed to be doing it because we saw her do it for someone and she spent the whole time looking like she was trying to hide something (which only made her more obvious). A few minutes after she left our area we saw her being escorted off the beach by the cops. Next time just pass out fliers and promise a happy ending like the other "massage" parlors.
Anisha peaced out early because...actually, I have no idea why. I guess we're too much fun. Eric, Mindy and I hung out at the beach a while longer and then walked up the strip to check the area out. For those who remember the Barcelona Olympics, the former Olympic Village is right long the beach and still has many of the buildings in tact. We rounded the corner and returned to the main row of restaurants/cafes, eventually landing at an Irish Pub. A round of drinks to Barcelona! Mindy also realized she had cards with her, so we ended up killing a few hours (and many beers) playing rounds of Asshole. Significantly buzzed, we decided it was time to head back to the hotel and clean up.
We got back to our area and found out that Joel and Anisha had gone off to dinner at some place we had no idea how to get to. Rather than track them down, we just decided to find a cafe nearby to hit. We ended up at a little Italian place that had awesome pizza and calzones. A few more drinks and good food got us setup for the night.
Mindy had been talking up a place in the northern part of the city called Elephant that she had read about in her travel book. Always down to check out something new, the three us of - now pimped out for the evening - headed that direction. The part of town Elephant is in was pretty quiet which was a bit discouraging, but I figured we'd gone this far, may as well see it to the end. Upon finding the place, we were glad we'd stuck it out. The name Elephant comes because there are - duh - a bunch of elephant sculptures littered throughout the place. The bar had a pretty sweet setup. There was a main room, decorated to look like a large tent, that housed some couches, open dance floor, and VIP section. Outside were a bunch of lounges and coaches tucked under pretty ornate drapes. The feel and flow to the place was pretty sweet. Only problem: not many people were out. I'm not sure if it was a time issue (it was about 11pm, which is early by Barcelona standards) or it just wasn't a good night (Thursday), but for whatever reason the place just was not very lively.
Mindy was hitting the wall, and once she taps out, she's done. Eric and I were kind of bummed that Elephant was dead, so we decided it'd be best to go find a better spot that night and try to make it back the next night. I asked the bouncer on leaving if Fridays were better and he gave me a pretty confident nod "Yes," so we said we'd try to be back [note: glad I took pics b/c we didn't make it back. Too bad. That place is probably a lot of fun when it gets going].
The metro had closed so we flagged down a cab and took Mindy back to the hotel. Eric and I had planned to just continue onto La Rambla, but I couldn't help asking the cabbie where he recommended. Cabbies always know the best places to go. Once he figured out my broken Spanish, he said we should head to Port Olympic. Works for me, let's do it!
Upon arrival I knew we'd made the right decision. Apparently part of the Olympic Village conversion from '92 included making a bunch of night clubs through part of the area. The hitch that the cabbie dropped us off on had 5 big clubs all just winding up for the night. Perfect timing.
Eric and I decided to try to get into the best club first - Opium Bar. What have we got to lose? The entrance is actually on a elevated street, with the main club pouring out onto the beach below. Eric jumps in line and I cruise over to the edge to glance down and see how it looks. There's lots of girls and good music. We've made a good call. Getting back in line, I take a look at our chances of getting in. We're in the only line to the place, but it ends at a group of bouncers who have a list. Most people are getting in, but those who aren't are being told to stand outside the rope area. Alone. with no defined line. In fact, after about a minute these people seem to realize they're not getting in and leave to try someplace else. Eric and I are not feeling great about our chances. Fortune had other ideas.
Eric had turned to the guy behind us to ask if he was OK to get into the clubs. Though his shoes were white, they were still closed-toed and fairly nice. The guy behind us was wearing one of the current hippie-trendy t-shirts and worse shoes than Eric's, so we figured if he was getting in then we'd have no problem. The guy also gave us a critical tip. "They've got a code up at the front. All you need to say is 'kikae' [pronounced key-kay] to get in tonight." Eric and I aren't sure what to make of it, but EFF it, it's worth a shot.
As we inch closer to the front, one of the bouncers starts making his way along the line. Apparently they'd run into a bunch of people they weren't going to be letting in and decided to thin the herd. The guy reached Eric and me and asked - I think - if we were in the right place. I glanced at Eric who gave me a shrug and then back to the guy. I just kind of look at him and say "Kikae?" The bouncer gave us an up-and-down to our look nodded his head and moved on. Holy shit! This might actually work. We're still were not in though.
Finally we reached the front. Moment of truth. The bouncer rolls a couple pages back from his clipboard and looks at us. I look look back and once again blurt out, "Kikae." The guy looks at us, looks at his sheet, back at us, and with just a slight motion with his hand waves us in. Booyahkashaw!!! On the way down to the club Eric and I are yucking it up. No way that should have worked, but fuck it, we're in! We belly up to the bar, order a round of cocktails, and scope the scene.
The club was pretty sick. Six or seven bars, outdoor lounges by the beach, indoor lounges with bottle service and a huge dance floor. I turned my back for a moment and when I looked back Eric was dancing with some chick. Against a wall. Haha, right on. I headed down to the dance floor and within minutes was getting into it with some girl. After bouncing around for a while, I ran back into Eric who'd lost the chick (for the time being). Suddenly the place start pointing towards the stage at the end of the dance floor and we looked up to see one of the craziest things I've seen at a club - a guy playing a Spanish violin (or possibly fiddle) perfectly synced to the Jay-Z song the club as blasting. The bridge of the violin even had a set of glowing LEDs. The dude was shredding it to gangster and everyone was cheering him on. Crazy.
The rest of the night is pretty fuzzy. I remember dancing with a lot of different chicks but never actually got into a conversation (I had been drinking since the early afternoon, effective personal skills went out the window long ago). Eric found his girl again and ended up getting her number. I realized she'd left and wondered why. Then I realized it was 5:00am. Oh. that explains why I'm running on fumes. Eric was tapped as well so we headed out.
The cabbie on the ride home must have thought we were idiots. Every few mins one of us would say "Kikae" and we'd both bust up laughing. that kind of shit doesn't happen in real life. Hilarious. Eric did make a critical mistake - he drunk dialed the chick on the way home. Had I been sober, I would have been a good bud and saved him from himself. Instead, I was drunk and could only laugh at him. Oh well. I'll have more on this story tomorrow.
We came, we saw, we partied. THAT was an awesome day.
I awake to our living situation apparently having sparked a mental breakdown. There are tears, curses, whining, so I do the gentlemanly thing - I roll over and go back to sleep. Yes, I know, it's amazing I'm still single.
A while later I get up and talk to the guy that was in charge. He claims they have a place for us to move to that was what we were expecting, but people are skeptical and on-edge. I find out we can get out of our reservation free because of the screwup. Fair enough. I tell Anisha to pick two places to investigate and tell the others to go grab breakfast. We'll check it out and be back shortly.
We arrived at the first spot - an Ayre hotel - and everything looks pretty nice. The rates aren't too high and the only catch is we won't have a room Saturday night. Our flight Sunday is actually out of another city to the North anyway, so we figure it'll be fine to leave Barcelona a day earlier than planned. Crisis over. Drinks for everyone!
We collect the rest of the group and get moved into the new place. Another big benefit - Eric and I get the bachelor room. Booyah! We grabbed lunch and Joel was obviously still feeling pretty crappy. We dropped him back at the hotel to rest and the 4 of us cruised to the beach. the beach in Barcelona was nice, but not quite as good as San Sebastian. Since it's on the Med, the water is much saltier and doesn't have any surf. It still beat the hell out of anything in SoCal though (OK, I'm done bashing the shitty SoCal Summer. I mean it. Maybe...)
We did crack up at some of people that were hawking promotions on the beach. Two different people came up to Mindy and Anisha trying to promote some new sushi joint/club with some crazy offers (free cover, 15Euro all you-can-eat). We're from California, possibly the 2nd best place for sushi other than Japan. There's no way we're going to trust sushi out here, especially not at crazy discounts. The other entertaining moment was a lady walking around offering Asian massages. We could tell she wasn't supposed to be doing it because we saw her do it for someone and she spent the whole time looking like she was trying to hide something (which only made her more obvious). A few minutes after she left our area we saw her being escorted off the beach by the cops. Next time just pass out fliers and promise a happy ending like the other "massage" parlors.
Anisha peaced out early because...actually, I have no idea why. I guess we're too much fun. Eric, Mindy and I hung out at the beach a while longer and then walked up the strip to check the area out. For those who remember the Barcelona Olympics, the former Olympic Village is right long the beach and still has many of the buildings in tact. We rounded the corner and returned to the main row of restaurants/cafes, eventually landing at an Irish Pub. A round of drinks to Barcelona! Mindy also realized she had cards with her, so we ended up killing a few hours (and many beers) playing rounds of Asshole. Significantly buzzed, we decided it was time to head back to the hotel and clean up.
We got back to our area and found out that Joel and Anisha had gone off to dinner at some place we had no idea how to get to. Rather than track them down, we just decided to find a cafe nearby to hit. We ended up at a little Italian place that had awesome pizza and calzones. A few more drinks and good food got us setup for the night.
Mindy had been talking up a place in the northern part of the city called Elephant that she had read about in her travel book. Always down to check out something new, the three us of - now pimped out for the evening - headed that direction. The part of town Elephant is in was pretty quiet which was a bit discouraging, but I figured we'd gone this far, may as well see it to the end. Upon finding the place, we were glad we'd stuck it out. The name Elephant comes because there are - duh - a bunch of elephant sculptures littered throughout the place. The bar had a pretty sweet setup. There was a main room, decorated to look like a large tent, that housed some couches, open dance floor, and VIP section. Outside were a bunch of lounges and coaches tucked under pretty ornate drapes. The feel and flow to the place was pretty sweet. Only problem: not many people were out. I'm not sure if it was a time issue (it was about 11pm, which is early by Barcelona standards) or it just wasn't a good night (Thursday), but for whatever reason the place just was not very lively.
Mindy was hitting the wall, and once she taps out, she's done. Eric and I were kind of bummed that Elephant was dead, so we decided it'd be best to go find a better spot that night and try to make it back the next night. I asked the bouncer on leaving if Fridays were better and he gave me a pretty confident nod "Yes," so we said we'd try to be back [note: glad I took pics b/c we didn't make it back. Too bad. That place is probably a lot of fun when it gets going].
The metro had closed so we flagged down a cab and took Mindy back to the hotel. Eric and I had planned to just continue onto La Rambla, but I couldn't help asking the cabbie where he recommended. Cabbies always know the best places to go. Once he figured out my broken Spanish, he said we should head to Port Olympic. Works for me, let's do it!
Upon arrival I knew we'd made the right decision. Apparently part of the Olympic Village conversion from '92 included making a bunch of night clubs through part of the area. The hitch that the cabbie dropped us off on had 5 big clubs all just winding up for the night. Perfect timing.
Eric and I decided to try to get into the best club first - Opium Bar. What have we got to lose? The entrance is actually on a elevated street, with the main club pouring out onto the beach below. Eric jumps in line and I cruise over to the edge to glance down and see how it looks. There's lots of girls and good music. We've made a good call. Getting back in line, I take a look at our chances of getting in. We're in the only line to the place, but it ends at a group of bouncers who have a list. Most people are getting in, but those who aren't are being told to stand outside the rope area. Alone. with no defined line. In fact, after about a minute these people seem to realize they're not getting in and leave to try someplace else. Eric and I are not feeling great about our chances. Fortune had other ideas.
Eric had turned to the guy behind us to ask if he was OK to get into the clubs. Though his shoes were white, they were still closed-toed and fairly nice. The guy behind us was wearing one of the current hippie-trendy t-shirts and worse shoes than Eric's, so we figured if he was getting in then we'd have no problem. The guy also gave us a critical tip. "They've got a code up at the front. All you need to say is 'kikae' [pronounced key-kay] to get in tonight." Eric and I aren't sure what to make of it, but EFF it, it's worth a shot.
As we inch closer to the front, one of the bouncers starts making his way along the line. Apparently they'd run into a bunch of people they weren't going to be letting in and decided to thin the herd. The guy reached Eric and me and asked - I think - if we were in the right place. I glanced at Eric who gave me a shrug and then back to the guy. I just kind of look at him and say "Kikae?" The bouncer gave us an up-and-down to our look nodded his head and moved on. Holy shit! This might actually work. We're still were not in though.
Finally we reached the front. Moment of truth. The bouncer rolls a couple pages back from his clipboard and looks at us. I look look back and once again blurt out, "Kikae." The guy looks at us, looks at his sheet, back at us, and with just a slight motion with his hand waves us in. Booyahkashaw!!! On the way down to the club Eric and I are yucking it up. No way that should have worked, but fuck it, we're in! We belly up to the bar, order a round of cocktails, and scope the scene.
The club was pretty sick. Six or seven bars, outdoor lounges by the beach, indoor lounges with bottle service and a huge dance floor. I turned my back for a moment and when I looked back Eric was dancing with some chick. Against a wall. Haha, right on. I headed down to the dance floor and within minutes was getting into it with some girl. After bouncing around for a while, I ran back into Eric who'd lost the chick (for the time being). Suddenly the place start pointing towards the stage at the end of the dance floor and we looked up to see one of the craziest things I've seen at a club - a guy playing a Spanish violin (or possibly fiddle) perfectly synced to the Jay-Z song the club as blasting. The bridge of the violin even had a set of glowing LEDs. The dude was shredding it to gangster and everyone was cheering him on. Crazy.
The rest of the night is pretty fuzzy. I remember dancing with a lot of different chicks but never actually got into a conversation (I had been drinking since the early afternoon, effective personal skills went out the window long ago). Eric found his girl again and ended up getting her number. I realized she'd left and wondered why. Then I realized it was 5:00am. Oh. that explains why I'm running on fumes. Eric was tapped as well so we headed out.
The cabbie on the ride home must have thought we were idiots. Every few mins one of us would say "Kikae" and we'd both bust up laughing. that kind of shit doesn't happen in real life. Hilarious. Eric did make a critical mistake - he drunk dialed the chick on the way home. Had I been sober, I would have been a good bud and saved him from himself. Instead, I was drunk and could only laugh at him. Oh well. I'll have more on this story tomorrow.
We came, we saw, we partied. THAT was an awesome day.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Spain Day 5
The main purpose of this day is to make it to Barcelona. Fortunately, everyone was so enamored with San Sebastian that we were all going to take the late train this time. We checked out of our place and left our luggage with the owner. Funny moment: I had my UCLA Football t-shirt on and the owner said, "Ah, you're Americans. UCLA." Except instead of saying U-C-L-A, he pronounced is phonetically "Uck-la." This cracked me up because my friends from UCSB had a really stupid joke about a woman whose name is "Uckla." Lou, Eric, and Katz are all high-fiving as they read this story. You guys are idiots.
The rest of the group had been to a fort up on a hillside the first day (while I was still in Madrid) and I wanted to see it for myself. As they headed to the far side of the harbor, I ventured up the hill to the fort. Eric had said that when they went to the fort they had walked all the way around the hill, I decided to try to take a more direct route. Actually, according to the map, I went the right way, but then I reached the fort, the area was blocked by a chain-link fence. And it had been set recently. I was debating jumping down a 8-foot ledge, bouncing between a tree, and trying to stop my momentum down the hillside before I broke something when a guy in a construction vest walked by. "Esta cerrado?" I asked. "Si." Shit.
OK, time for plan B. Those who know me know this means I'm officially in "make it up as I go" mode. I will reach this fort or die trying, I head back to the trailhead and investigate the map. Based on how long the shortcut had been, I decided the route around the mountain wasn't so bad, so I headed that direction. This proved a good idea.
First, there was a group of restored cannons from the colonial days, poised at the ready to defend San Sebastian from invaders and mutineers! OK, they're just there for looks, but still, it looks badass. I decide that instead of getting a sign that says "Honeywell Home Security Systems" (or something like that) to put in front of my house to ward off robbers, I'm going to put a barrage of cannons. Go ahead. Rob me, bitch.
Rounding the far side of the hill I realize that the path runs right through an ancient cemetery. I didn't have time to stop and investigate, but the graves were pretty impressive. I figure if you can afford to be buried in a cemetery as part of a hillside overlooking the ocean, you must have been sticking rich. I did have a random thought about the graves though, specifically I wondered if erosion had ever exposed any of the caskets and forced them to be runoff into the ocean. Kind of like what happened in New Orleans to force crypts being built above ground. I decide to just move on.
Up another grade and a couple small switchbacks and - ta-da! - I've reached the fort. First, I see why the back way was blocked. A truck to dumping hundreds of cobblestones to a bulldozer that's pushing them into position. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the bulldozer wouldn't have been happy to see me show up if I had jumped off that ledge.
Fortunately they are working on the lower level and the upper level is totally clear. I walk out to the farthest point on the fort and have all of San Sebastian to myself for a moment. Spectacular. I can see down the hillside, across the canal, over to the crescent beach and off to the far points of the city.
I snapped a bunch of photos and headed back down the hill. On the opposite side I stopped to check out the harbor one last time and spied a Waverunner headed out to sea. I've done this on my Waverunner and get jazzed to see even on the other side of the planet people are as adventurous (or stupid) as i am. Unfortunately the guy only goes about a quarter-mile outside the harbor and turns back. Boo. You gotta at least hit the first mile-marker to get credit in my book.
I caught back up with the group at our hotel where we collected our bags and headed for the train station. On the platform, Eric spied a chick from the previous night. Why did he notice her specifically? Because Eric is a big boob hound-dog. We all crack up at this and I even nudge him a bit to go hit on her. I think she even ended up in the same car as us on the train, but Eric never engaged her. Too bad.
The train trip was pretty uneventful, though we had a few entertaining moments. Eric and I got into an extended conversation about running with the bulls because one of the stops was Pamplona. I definitely want to see it someday, Eric wants to run it. I am easily influenced to do crazy things. If he ever ask me to do it with him I probably will. Please include a link to this blog post on my tombstone in 2013.
While on my hike to the fort, the rest of the team had somewhat-wisely bought some bread, cold cuts, and cheese to eat during the train ride. I say "somewhat" b/c while the food was a good idea, one of the cheeses they bought stuck to high heaven. Yeah, we were "that group" on the train. Oh well, it was still very good food so we ate quickly and put away the stinky cheese.
A few hours later we pulled into Barcelona. Shazam! I'm pretty excited because I have heard nothing but good things. we take a few hops on the metro and exit onto La Rambla - the main drag of the city. It is a bustling street of tourists, performers, shops and restaurants. We take everything in as we venture to our place. Everyone seems to be doing pretty well, so of course something has to go wrong.
We get to the place and some 15-year old kid is running the common room/check-in. This does not look like the place we stressed for hours trying to book in Barcelona. The kid tells us that he's sorry, but the reservation system had malfunctioned and we were not going to be able to stay in the place we'd been told. He said the property was working out a solution, but we wouldn't be setup until the next night. For this night, we had to deal essentially with a crappy hostel setup. Shit. OK, it's 10pm and we don't need this shit. Two options, piss-moan-whine and achieve nothing, or take what we've got, go enjoy the city, and deal with this shitshow the next day. I railroad option 2. In my mind, there's nothing that can be fixed tonight, we just need to deal with it later.
Leaving the living situation for another time, we head back out to La Rambla. The place is still buzzing at close to midnight and after traversing the street we sit down at one of the cafes to get some dinner and people-watch. I ordered a beer - large of course - and waiter returns with a Liter glass. Holy crap! I wasn't expecting this until Germany. Fortunately, I'm a drunk and easily justified the drink as Oktoberfest warm-up. Thank you Keith-logic. After a pretty good meal (Joel and Anisha had some black paella that was really interesting and good) we continued down La Rambla to the harbor.
There was a pretty cool bar/club area built out on a pier, but unfortunately the place was closing because it was Sunday night. We walked along the harbor and spied some schools of anchovies being bombarded by larger fish. It was pretty cool watching them move out of danger. After a few blocks we turned back up into the city and eventually settled at a chill bar for some drinks. Mindy and Anisha were excited by the fru-fru options, Joel enjoyed a mojito, and Eric stuck to the beer with me. It had been a long day and inspite of the trials, it was good to be in Barcelona.
The rest of the group had been to a fort up on a hillside the first day (while I was still in Madrid) and I wanted to see it for myself. As they headed to the far side of the harbor, I ventured up the hill to the fort. Eric had said that when they went to the fort they had walked all the way around the hill, I decided to try to take a more direct route. Actually, according to the map, I went the right way, but then I reached the fort, the area was blocked by a chain-link fence. And it had been set recently. I was debating jumping down a 8-foot ledge, bouncing between a tree, and trying to stop my momentum down the hillside before I broke something when a guy in a construction vest walked by. "Esta cerrado?" I asked. "Si." Shit.
OK, time for plan B. Those who know me know this means I'm officially in "make it up as I go" mode. I will reach this fort or die trying, I head back to the trailhead and investigate the map. Based on how long the shortcut had been, I decided the route around the mountain wasn't so bad, so I headed that direction. This proved a good idea.
First, there was a group of restored cannons from the colonial days, poised at the ready to defend San Sebastian from invaders and mutineers! OK, they're just there for looks, but still, it looks badass. I decide that instead of getting a sign that says "Honeywell Home Security Systems" (or something like that) to put in front of my house to ward off robbers, I'm going to put a barrage of cannons. Go ahead. Rob me, bitch.
Rounding the far side of the hill I realize that the path runs right through an ancient cemetery. I didn't have time to stop and investigate, but the graves were pretty impressive. I figure if you can afford to be buried in a cemetery as part of a hillside overlooking the ocean, you must have been sticking rich. I did have a random thought about the graves though, specifically I wondered if erosion had ever exposed any of the caskets and forced them to be runoff into the ocean. Kind of like what happened in New Orleans to force crypts being built above ground. I decide to just move on.
Up another grade and a couple small switchbacks and - ta-da! - I've reached the fort. First, I see why the back way was blocked. A truck to dumping hundreds of cobblestones to a bulldozer that's pushing them into position. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the bulldozer wouldn't have been happy to see me show up if I had jumped off that ledge.
Fortunately they are working on the lower level and the upper level is totally clear. I walk out to the farthest point on the fort and have all of San Sebastian to myself for a moment. Spectacular. I can see down the hillside, across the canal, over to the crescent beach and off to the far points of the city.
I snapped a bunch of photos and headed back down the hill. On the opposite side I stopped to check out the harbor one last time and spied a Waverunner headed out to sea. I've done this on my Waverunner and get jazzed to see even on the other side of the planet people are as adventurous (or stupid) as i am. Unfortunately the guy only goes about a quarter-mile outside the harbor and turns back. Boo. You gotta at least hit the first mile-marker to get credit in my book.
I caught back up with the group at our hotel where we collected our bags and headed for the train station. On the platform, Eric spied a chick from the previous night. Why did he notice her specifically? Because Eric is a big boob hound-dog. We all crack up at this and I even nudge him a bit to go hit on her. I think she even ended up in the same car as us on the train, but Eric never engaged her. Too bad.
The train trip was pretty uneventful, though we had a few entertaining moments. Eric and I got into an extended conversation about running with the bulls because one of the stops was Pamplona. I definitely want to see it someday, Eric wants to run it. I am easily influenced to do crazy things. If he ever ask me to do it with him I probably will. Please include a link to this blog post on my tombstone in 2013.
While on my hike to the fort, the rest of the team had somewhat-wisely bought some bread, cold cuts, and cheese to eat during the train ride. I say "somewhat" b/c while the food was a good idea, one of the cheeses they bought stuck to high heaven. Yeah, we were "that group" on the train. Oh well, it was still very good food so we ate quickly and put away the stinky cheese.
A few hours later we pulled into Barcelona. Shazam! I'm pretty excited because I have heard nothing but good things. we take a few hops on the metro and exit onto La Rambla - the main drag of the city. It is a bustling street of tourists, performers, shops and restaurants. We take everything in as we venture to our place. Everyone seems to be doing pretty well, so of course something has to go wrong.
We get to the place and some 15-year old kid is running the common room/check-in. This does not look like the place we stressed for hours trying to book in Barcelona. The kid tells us that he's sorry, but the reservation system had malfunctioned and we were not going to be able to stay in the place we'd been told. He said the property was working out a solution, but we wouldn't be setup until the next night. For this night, we had to deal essentially with a crappy hostel setup. Shit. OK, it's 10pm and we don't need this shit. Two options, piss-moan-whine and achieve nothing, or take what we've got, go enjoy the city, and deal with this shitshow the next day. I railroad option 2. In my mind, there's nothing that can be fixed tonight, we just need to deal with it later.
Leaving the living situation for another time, we head back out to La Rambla. The place is still buzzing at close to midnight and after traversing the street we sit down at one of the cafes to get some dinner and people-watch. I ordered a beer - large of course - and waiter returns with a Liter glass. Holy crap! I wasn't expecting this until Germany. Fortunately, I'm a drunk and easily justified the drink as Oktoberfest warm-up. Thank you Keith-logic. After a pretty good meal (Joel and Anisha had some black paella that was really interesting and good) we continued down La Rambla to the harbor.
There was a pretty cool bar/club area built out on a pier, but unfortunately the place was closing because it was Sunday night. We walked along the harbor and spied some schools of anchovies being bombarded by larger fish. It was pretty cool watching them move out of danger. After a few blocks we turned back up into the city and eventually settled at a chill bar for some drinks. Mindy and Anisha were excited by the fru-fru options, Joel enjoyed a mojito, and Eric stuck to the beer with me. It had been a long day and inspite of the trials, it was good to be in Barcelona.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Spain Day 4
Eric and I wake in a bit of a fog. Can't imagine why :-D. We learn that Joel is down for the count. He had been mildly sick for a few days, but apparently the night of excessive drinking finally overran his system. Mindy and Anisha are off getting drugs, so Eric and I head to the square to get some breakfast.
Upon returning, we grab the girls and head to the beach. Eric had wanted to see what the surf situation was like and we were pleasantly surprised. There were some solid 4-6' sets coming in. I opt to let the expert do his thing, but still got in the water to do some body surfing. The water was nice, probably high-60s which is about how it is during a typical SoCal Summer. I say typical b/c Summer SUCKED in SoCal this year. I count this as my SD Summer. We also ran into some British guys that the girls had been talking to at the club the previous night. They had also watched the encounter with Frenchie and we all had a good laugh about it.
Since I know my scumbag friends are wondering, yes, this is a topless beach. Yes there are hot chicks with no tops on. Yes, there are also not-so-hot and old chicks with their tops off. Yes, you may reach the conclusion that this is kind of cool, but ultimately a hazard that you would avoid. These are my friends.
Mindy and Anisha left to check on Joel so Eric and I took advantage to do a little sightseeing. We hit checked out the major canal that guided the river into the ocean (Eric was convinced he could surf for days on the swells that headed upstream). Eric also showed me a church that the group had seen the day before. It was built right into the hillside and had some amazing sculptures. We also checked out the harbor and beach on the other side of town. The beach there is protected (ie: no swells) so we decided we'd headed to the right place.
We returned back to the area near our hotel and found an Internet cafe for what I thought would be a quick stop. I had two goals: get our place for Barcelona handled and pay my school fees. I got the school fees handled. The place in Barcelona turned into a debacle. We could not find anything for the days we planned. We ended up searching for nearly two hours until finally, we found a place! (24 hours later, this find would haunt us. See the next day.)
Exasperated, we finally were ready to head to dinner. Joel had rallied to join us, which he deserves props for. We had originally planned to hit a Michelin Star restaurant in San Sebastian, but it was closed Tuesdays. Boo. Oh well, we still found a great place down by the water and I finally had my first plate of paella. Shellfish, rice, spices - paella, FTW!
Joel was still feeling a bit cruddy, so he called it night along with Anisha and Mindy. Eric and I let one of the street hawkers recommend a place for us. I'm normally not a fan of this, but we knew other places to check out so I figured give it a shot and bail if it's lame. The place was pretty "Meh." There were some people, but mostly clicky groups. We stayed for one drink and did have two funny moments. The first was when a song from Grease came on. The whole place busted into song and dance. This really cracked us up. The other moment was when an Australian cougar that came by our table and started giving us a dance show. We were at the point of leaving so we politely passed, but she demanded that we at least take a picture with her before we go. OK. So she gets between us, arms thrown over our shoulders, and right before the pic she jumps into Eric's arms. Haha. Eric gave her a hug and we left, but I had to bust his balls a little. Everyone at Rady know the legend of Eric "Cougar Hunter" Morton. He should have stayed at that bar and added to his legend.
We tried one other spot that did have a lot more people and had a Hawaiian theme going on. I found out from the bartender that they had their own 2-for-1 specials going on (stay classy San Sebastian), so I ordered up a round and she even tossed me a lei. We cruised around a bit, but the place was kind of a sausagefest. After a few rounds and not much traction, we called it a night. Still a great day.
Upon returning, we grab the girls and head to the beach. Eric had wanted to see what the surf situation was like and we were pleasantly surprised. There were some solid 4-6' sets coming in. I opt to let the expert do his thing, but still got in the water to do some body surfing. The water was nice, probably high-60s which is about how it is during a typical SoCal Summer. I say typical b/c Summer SUCKED in SoCal this year. I count this as my SD Summer. We also ran into some British guys that the girls had been talking to at the club the previous night. They had also watched the encounter with Frenchie and we all had a good laugh about it.
Since I know my scumbag friends are wondering, yes, this is a topless beach. Yes there are hot chicks with no tops on. Yes, there are also not-so-hot and old chicks with their tops off. Yes, you may reach the conclusion that this is kind of cool, but ultimately a hazard that you would avoid. These are my friends.
Mindy and Anisha left to check on Joel so Eric and I took advantage to do a little sightseeing. We hit checked out the major canal that guided the river into the ocean (Eric was convinced he could surf for days on the swells that headed upstream). Eric also showed me a church that the group had seen the day before. It was built right into the hillside and had some amazing sculptures. We also checked out the harbor and beach on the other side of town. The beach there is protected (ie: no swells) so we decided we'd headed to the right place.
We returned back to the area near our hotel and found an Internet cafe for what I thought would be a quick stop. I had two goals: get our place for Barcelona handled and pay my school fees. I got the school fees handled. The place in Barcelona turned into a debacle. We could not find anything for the days we planned. We ended up searching for nearly two hours until finally, we found a place! (24 hours later, this find would haunt us. See the next day.)
Exasperated, we finally were ready to head to dinner. Joel had rallied to join us, which he deserves props for. We had originally planned to hit a Michelin Star restaurant in San Sebastian, but it was closed Tuesdays. Boo. Oh well, we still found a great place down by the water and I finally had my first plate of paella. Shellfish, rice, spices - paella, FTW!
Joel was still feeling a bit cruddy, so he called it night along with Anisha and Mindy. Eric and I let one of the street hawkers recommend a place for us. I'm normally not a fan of this, but we knew other places to check out so I figured give it a shot and bail if it's lame. The place was pretty "Meh." There were some people, but mostly clicky groups. We stayed for one drink and did have two funny moments. The first was when a song from Grease came on. The whole place busted into song and dance. This really cracked us up. The other moment was when an Australian cougar that came by our table and started giving us a dance show. We were at the point of leaving so we politely passed, but she demanded that we at least take a picture with her before we go. OK. So she gets between us, arms thrown over our shoulders, and right before the pic she jumps into Eric's arms. Haha. Eric gave her a hug and we left, but I had to bust his balls a little. Everyone at Rady know the legend of Eric "Cougar Hunter" Morton. He should have stayed at that bar and added to his legend.
We tried one other spot that did have a lot more people and had a Hawaiian theme going on. I found out from the bartender that they had their own 2-for-1 specials going on (stay classy San Sebastian), so I ordered up a round and she even tossed me a lei. We cruised around a bit, but the place was kind of a sausagefest. After a few rounds and not much traction, we called it a night. Still a great day.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Spain Day 3
As I said, the "team" left early. I stayed and slept in. Actually, there were a few last things to do for me before leaving Madrid.
Top of my list: tour the Palazio Real Madrid (Royal Palace). Apparently it's just a business palace for when the royal family needs to be in Madrid. Some day I need to hit the point where I entertain at my business palace but say things like "This is quaint, but my real palace is a place to behold." Actually, that would sound really douchey, scratch that.
Anyway, the palace was really incredible. The Throne Room is unreal, with plush chairs on a raised platform flanked by a procession of bronze lions on each side. Those led into King Carlos III's 3 chambers. The official story is one was a changing room, another a sitting room, and then a hosting room. My interpretation: Wife room, Mistress room, Girlfriend room. Some of the other areas included a porcelain room which was lined with custom statues from floor to ceiling, a billiard room, and a dining hall that was bigger than ever place I've lived in for the last 10 years. Proving, as always, it's good to be the King.
I also took time to go to the cathedral next to the palace. I've been in Europe for 2 days and hadn't hit a church yet - sacrilege! Seriously though, churches in Europe are amazing. As Greg said last trip "Huh, I'm starting to get why this Jesus guy is such a big deal." There were amazing, intricate bronze and stone statues. I'm also always amazed by the size of these ancient buildings, made entirely of stone. You can't do it in California because of the earthquakes, so I'm always impressed when I see it.
I grabbed lunch at the Museo de Jamon - a total local spot. The name is ironic, as it's not a museum, but it is a place that has figured out every conceivable way to make ham. And of course it's all delicious. I left myself just enough time to grab my bag and hop the late train to San Sebastian. Train travel still remains my favorite, esp in Europe. No bag check, minimal security delay, lots of leg room - even in coach.
Anyway, I arrived in San Sebastian and here's where things get a little dicey. The group had been unable to get me the info on where they were staying before I left Madrid, but San Sebastian is a fairly small town, so I have to think I can find a WIFI connection and find them when I get in, right? Wrong! I would find out later that everything "figured" I had to go a specific way out of the train station to reach them. There were actually 3 ways I could go, and I of course picked one they weren't hanging out along. I spend the next hour wandering San Sebastian, trying to find a WIFI connection so I can get online and see if they sent me any info. By luck, I find something and figure out where they're staying. The streets are poorly marked, but I had been around the area, so I give it one last shot. As I was circling around, nearly ready to just call it off and find any open hotel, I walk past a cafe and hear "KEITH!" Turns out the group had given up finding me and returned back to their area. Mindy happened to be facing the door and noticed me exactly as I walked by. Random discovery FTW!!!
Now that we're all back together - and every one is finally happy - it's time to party!!! We grabbed a quick bite to eat at a tapas bar and headed a bar/club right along the street we were staying. It was a narrow, but long place with the bar running nearly the entire length of the place and a decent dancing area in the back. It's also 2-for-1 Sangrias and Becks. Score! Every time I surveyed the group, at least two of us were double fisting some combination of beers and sangria. Awesome.
We met some girls from France who couldn't speak English or Spanish (and of course we couldn't speak French), but at least everyone speaks drinking and dancing. One of the girls was a cute raven-haired girl that was definitely a little crazy. Her friend was...well...fat. I can't even sugar-coat it. She was huge. But for the most part the cute friend and I were away from her, so things never got awkward. The french girl figured out our group and eventually focused from me to Eric. At this point, I don't care. We're finally having fun as a group so I say game-on for whoever can get it. Eric, being a good friend, at first stays away from the girl, but I can tell I've lost this and pull him aside to tell him, "Bro, she wants you, go ahead." That's what I said. My skank-o-meter was starting to beep though, so I think I meant "This girl is kinda freaky and I think she'd let us tag-team her but there's no way that's going happen. Go get her and make sure you do it in a sterile environment." Stay classy San Diego.
Anyway, we were pretty hammered at this point and it was getting to be too much drama, so we eventually just slipped to another part of the bar. Eric met a smoking-hot Australian blond who is upset her friends ditched her to go sleep with some other dudes. Eric flashes his Midwestern boy smile and she melts instantly. Unfortunately, Eric decides he is too drunk to really hit on her. WHAT?!?! Damnit Eric. Epic fail.
The bar finally closes down (I have lost all sense of time by this point, but I'm guessing it was 3am) and we start to head home. We're about halfway home when I hear a girl calling from up the street. I turn and see Frenchie and fatty bearing down on us. Que? We end up at the corner of our street and I'm trying to make sense of the fat chick's broken English. Eventually I figure out she's trying to communicate that Frenchie REALLY wants to hook up with Eric. Finally shes able to ask, "Is your friend very shy or something?" I have a sense that Eric is standing behind me and I turn to shoot him a look, except he has wandered up the street a little bit. Actually, he's stopped about 20 feet away and positioned himself over a drain in the middle of the street - his back to us. Then I realize he's taking a piss. In the middle of a San Sebastian street at 3am. Hahahaha. I turn back to the girls and say "Yeah, he kind of is." Eric stumbles back over to us and I tell Frenchie she should talk to him. Or I may have said "Grab him, throw him against a wall and make out with him." Whether or not I said it, that's what happened. Fatty had a Black guy in tow with her, so looked like everyone was setup. My work here is done. Joel is holding the door to the place open waiting, so I throw him a thumbs up and we head inside to pass out.
Except Mindy did not give me keys to the room. So I can get in the building and into our wing, but not my bedroom. Mindy is O-U-T, OUT. no amount of banging can get her up. I do manage to wake the neighbors though. Oops. I throw him a "Sorry" and was about to just give in and sleep on Joel's hardwood floors. Someone says "Maybe we can jimmy the lock." At this point, why not. I pull out my wallet and pick my Blockbuster card to use. It's laminated, flexible, and I haven't used it in 5 years, so it should be perfect. I'm messing with the lock - Anisha in my ear saying there's no way this will work - and after a few clever hand maneuvers - POP! The door springs open. Ingenuity FTW! I throw Joel and Anisha a "Goodnight" wave and pass out.
Epilouge:
Eric it turns out came in about 30 mins after me. He recounted a pretty funny story about how the fat chick took the Black guy home and Frenchie, who was basically giving Eric a Wall Job, kept trying to get Eric to head upstairs to our room. Eric was having none of it b/c he decided this girl was just too skanky. He eventually broke free and ditched her. The next morning he said he was pretty sure the Black guy got to ride a train that night. I agreed, and we laughed. The trip is finally cooking :-D.
Top of my list: tour the Palazio Real Madrid (Royal Palace). Apparently it's just a business palace for when the royal family needs to be in Madrid. Some day I need to hit the point where I entertain at my business palace but say things like "This is quaint, but my real palace is a place to behold." Actually, that would sound really douchey, scratch that.
Anyway, the palace was really incredible. The Throne Room is unreal, with plush chairs on a raised platform flanked by a procession of bronze lions on each side. Those led into King Carlos III's 3 chambers. The official story is one was a changing room, another a sitting room, and then a hosting room. My interpretation: Wife room, Mistress room, Girlfriend room. Some of the other areas included a porcelain room which was lined with custom statues from floor to ceiling, a billiard room, and a dining hall that was bigger than ever place I've lived in for the last 10 years. Proving, as always, it's good to be the King.
I also took time to go to the cathedral next to the palace. I've been in Europe for 2 days and hadn't hit a church yet - sacrilege! Seriously though, churches in Europe are amazing. As Greg said last trip "Huh, I'm starting to get why this Jesus guy is such a big deal." There were amazing, intricate bronze and stone statues. I'm also always amazed by the size of these ancient buildings, made entirely of stone. You can't do it in California because of the earthquakes, so I'm always impressed when I see it.
I grabbed lunch at the Museo de Jamon - a total local spot. The name is ironic, as it's not a museum, but it is a place that has figured out every conceivable way to make ham. And of course it's all delicious. I left myself just enough time to grab my bag and hop the late train to San Sebastian. Train travel still remains my favorite, esp in Europe. No bag check, minimal security delay, lots of leg room - even in coach.
Anyway, I arrived in San Sebastian and here's where things get a little dicey. The group had been unable to get me the info on where they were staying before I left Madrid, but San Sebastian is a fairly small town, so I have to think I can find a WIFI connection and find them when I get in, right? Wrong! I would find out later that everything "figured" I had to go a specific way out of the train station to reach them. There were actually 3 ways I could go, and I of course picked one they weren't hanging out along. I spend the next hour wandering San Sebastian, trying to find a WIFI connection so I can get online and see if they sent me any info. By luck, I find something and figure out where they're staying. The streets are poorly marked, but I had been around the area, so I give it one last shot. As I was circling around, nearly ready to just call it off and find any open hotel, I walk past a cafe and hear "KEITH!" Turns out the group had given up finding me and returned back to their area. Mindy happened to be facing the door and noticed me exactly as I walked by. Random discovery FTW!!!
Now that we're all back together - and every one is finally happy - it's time to party!!! We grabbed a quick bite to eat at a tapas bar and headed a bar/club right along the street we were staying. It was a narrow, but long place with the bar running nearly the entire length of the place and a decent dancing area in the back. It's also 2-for-1 Sangrias and Becks. Score! Every time I surveyed the group, at least two of us were double fisting some combination of beers and sangria. Awesome.
We met some girls from France who couldn't speak English or Spanish (and of course we couldn't speak French), but at least everyone speaks drinking and dancing. One of the girls was a cute raven-haired girl that was definitely a little crazy. Her friend was...well...fat. I can't even sugar-coat it. She was huge. But for the most part the cute friend and I were away from her, so things never got awkward. The french girl figured out our group and eventually focused from me to Eric. At this point, I don't care. We're finally having fun as a group so I say game-on for whoever can get it. Eric, being a good friend, at first stays away from the girl, but I can tell I've lost this and pull him aside to tell him, "Bro, she wants you, go ahead." That's what I said. My skank-o-meter was starting to beep though, so I think I meant "This girl is kinda freaky and I think she'd let us tag-team her but there's no way that's going happen. Go get her and make sure you do it in a sterile environment." Stay classy San Diego.
Anyway, we were pretty hammered at this point and it was getting to be too much drama, so we eventually just slipped to another part of the bar. Eric met a smoking-hot Australian blond who is upset her friends ditched her to go sleep with some other dudes. Eric flashes his Midwestern boy smile and she melts instantly. Unfortunately, Eric decides he is too drunk to really hit on her. WHAT?!?! Damnit Eric. Epic fail.
The bar finally closes down (I have lost all sense of time by this point, but I'm guessing it was 3am) and we start to head home. We're about halfway home when I hear a girl calling from up the street. I turn and see Frenchie and fatty bearing down on us. Que? We end up at the corner of our street and I'm trying to make sense of the fat chick's broken English. Eventually I figure out she's trying to communicate that Frenchie REALLY wants to hook up with Eric. Finally shes able to ask, "Is your friend very shy or something?" I have a sense that Eric is standing behind me and I turn to shoot him a look, except he has wandered up the street a little bit. Actually, he's stopped about 20 feet away and positioned himself over a drain in the middle of the street - his back to us. Then I realize he's taking a piss. In the middle of a San Sebastian street at 3am. Hahahaha. I turn back to the girls and say "Yeah, he kind of is." Eric stumbles back over to us and I tell Frenchie she should talk to him. Or I may have said "Grab him, throw him against a wall and make out with him." Whether or not I said it, that's what happened. Fatty had a Black guy in tow with her, so looked like everyone was setup. My work here is done. Joel is holding the door to the place open waiting, so I throw him a thumbs up and we head inside to pass out.
Except Mindy did not give me keys to the room. So I can get in the building and into our wing, but not my bedroom. Mindy is O-U-T, OUT. no amount of banging can get her up. I do manage to wake the neighbors though. Oops. I throw him a "Sorry" and was about to just give in and sleep on Joel's hardwood floors. Someone says "Maybe we can jimmy the lock." At this point, why not. I pull out my wallet and pick my Blockbuster card to use. It's laminated, flexible, and I haven't used it in 5 years, so it should be perfect. I'm messing with the lock - Anisha in my ear saying there's no way this will work - and after a few clever hand maneuvers - POP! The door springs open. Ingenuity FTW! I throw Joel and Anisha a "Goodnight" wave and pass out.
Epilouge:
Eric it turns out came in about 30 mins after me. He recounted a pretty funny story about how the fat chick took the Black guy home and Frenchie, who was basically giving Eric a Wall Job, kept trying to get Eric to head upstairs to our room. Eric was having none of it b/c he decided this girl was just too skanky. He eventually broke free and ditched her. The next morning he said he was pretty sure the Black guy got to ride a train that night. I agreed, and we laughed. The trip is finally cooking :-D.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Spain Day 2
Yoshi is kind of a dick. Look, you end up in room w/ a bunch of people and you need to get up via alarm - only hit the snooze once!!! The dude´s phone kept going off. Finally he killed it and left. Later jerk.
I was able to roll back over until about 9:30 and was feeling good when I got going. Vera and Tanya each gave out hugs goodbye, got my info, and said they´d see us at Oktoberfest. Bueno! Eric wanted to relax and clean up, so Mindy and I grabbed her tour book and headed for a cafe for breakfast. My goal was to see Picasso´s "La Guernica", maybe the Prado (which houses many famous collections), and let the day play out from there.
We also had Joel and Anisha to collect. We found out from them that they´d been delayed in Philly and would probably be arriving around noon. Since it was really late morning we decided to kick it at the hostel for a bit until they arrived. Finally, the gang was all here! We told the Hutchinsons our plan for the day and they said they´d catch up with us once they´d had some time to clean up and decompress.
Eric, Mindy and I headed for the Centre National de Riena Sofia, home of La Guernica. Apparently the location is controversial because Picasso himself had said he wanted it placed at the Prado - Madrid's larger, more famous museum - but for whatever reason it is at the Sofia. There were a number of Picasso's around and all I can say is that he obviously saw the world in a way different than I. La Guernica itself is pretty awe-inspiring. The canvas is about 10 feet high by 30 feet wide. The painting is supposed to show the suffering of a town that has been attacked by German forces. There is supposedly a story that when the Nazi's saw the painting they approached Picasso and asked him, "Are you responsible for this?" Picasso's response was, "No, you are." Take THAT 3rd Reich!
In addition to the Picasso's there were also a number of Salvador Dali's (the guy who does the weird clocks hanging off off trees) and cool exhibit of New York photography (a homage to NYC so close to 9/11.
We heard from Joel and Anisha as we were leaving and found them at a restaurant that they had been wanting to go to. The couple are a pair of foodies, so any time they pick a place it ends up being pretty good. The food was good, esp washed down with Sangria. As we were getting close to leaving though the lights suddenly dimmed and the restaunt pulled out a cauldren of some alcohol drink. They cook lit it on fire and proceeded to make this dancing blue flame. It was pretty cool. We made a note to figure out what the heck it was later (which of course we'll never actually figure out).
After lunch Mindy took off with the Hutchinson's and Eric and I went to grab a drink before deciding where the go next. The Prado was packed, so we didn't feel like sitting in line just to get inside. Instead we checked out some of the local spots.
Upon returning to the hostel the group began to talk about punting from Madrid to go to San Sebastian. I was fine with Madrid, but I had also heard that San Sebastian was amazing, so I was in. For our last night though, we wanted to do a good meal and decided to try to find the "Earliest Restaurant in the World" (as determined by Guiness). I guess this restaurant has been in continuous existence since 1725 and hosted the liked of Hemmingway. Our meal was pretty incredible - sucking pig, lamb, filet, roast chicken and a veal cutlet for me. Everyone sampled each other's plates and no one was disappointed. Earliest Restaurant in the World - FTW!!!
Since it was Sunday night and the team was leaving early the next morning, we retired early.
I was able to roll back over until about 9:30 and was feeling good when I got going. Vera and Tanya each gave out hugs goodbye, got my info, and said they´d see us at Oktoberfest. Bueno! Eric wanted to relax and clean up, so Mindy and I grabbed her tour book and headed for a cafe for breakfast. My goal was to see Picasso´s "La Guernica", maybe the Prado (which houses many famous collections), and let the day play out from there.
We also had Joel and Anisha to collect. We found out from them that they´d been delayed in Philly and would probably be arriving around noon. Since it was really late morning we decided to kick it at the hostel for a bit until they arrived. Finally, the gang was all here! We told the Hutchinsons our plan for the day and they said they´d catch up with us once they´d had some time to clean up and decompress.
Eric, Mindy and I headed for the Centre National de Riena Sofia, home of La Guernica. Apparently the location is controversial because Picasso himself had said he wanted it placed at the Prado - Madrid's larger, more famous museum - but for whatever reason it is at the Sofia. There were a number of Picasso's around and all I can say is that he obviously saw the world in a way different than I. La Guernica itself is pretty awe-inspiring. The canvas is about 10 feet high by 30 feet wide. The painting is supposed to show the suffering of a town that has been attacked by German forces. There is supposedly a story that when the Nazi's saw the painting they approached Picasso and asked him, "Are you responsible for this?" Picasso's response was, "No, you are." Take THAT 3rd Reich!
In addition to the Picasso's there were also a number of Salvador Dali's (the guy who does the weird clocks hanging off off trees) and cool exhibit of New York photography (a homage to NYC so close to 9/11.
We heard from Joel and Anisha as we were leaving and found them at a restaurant that they had been wanting to go to. The couple are a pair of foodies, so any time they pick a place it ends up being pretty good. The food was good, esp washed down with Sangria. As we were getting close to leaving though the lights suddenly dimmed and the restaunt pulled out a cauldren of some alcohol drink. They cook lit it on fire and proceeded to make this dancing blue flame. It was pretty cool. We made a note to figure out what the heck it was later (which of course we'll never actually figure out).
After lunch Mindy took off with the Hutchinson's and Eric and I went to grab a drink before deciding where the go next. The Prado was packed, so we didn't feel like sitting in line just to get inside. Instead we checked out some of the local spots.
Upon returning to the hostel the group began to talk about punting from Madrid to go to San Sebastian. I was fine with Madrid, but I had also heard that San Sebastian was amazing, so I was in. For our last night though, we wanted to do a good meal and decided to try to find the "Earliest Restaurant in the World" (as determined by Guiness). I guess this restaurant has been in continuous existence since 1725 and hosted the liked of Hemmingway. Our meal was pretty incredible - sucking pig, lamb, filet, roast chicken and a veal cutlet for me. Everyone sampled each other's plates and no one was disappointed. Earliest Restaurant in the World - FTW!!!
Since it was Sunday night and the team was leaving early the next morning, we retired early.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Isla Vista, errrr, Spain Day 1
Viva Espana!!!
There´s nothing more fun than arriving in a new land. 14 hours on a cramped metal tube with bad sleep gets washed away instantly. After a brief stint on the metro and getting lost for about a 1/2 hour, I found the hostel and dropped my bag. Eric wasn´t due for a few hours, so I went to explore the town.
Even though it´s big, Madrid is extremely walkable and gorgeous. Our hostel was on the one of the main streets - Gran Via - right in the heart of the city. And hooker district. I´m just glad the girls picked the place, b/c if Eric or I had, we´d never hear the end of it. Anyway, I spent a few hours jsut exploring the town, many beautiful plazas, the Royal Palace, and the Puerta del Sol - which is where the statue of the bear climbing a tree from the Spanish coat of arms is located.
I got back to the hostel just in time for Eric to arrive and we checked in. The first night we had 3 extra roommates - Yoshi from Tokyo and Vera and Tanya from Munich. Yoshi had tickets to the Real Madrid game so he was on his way out. Eric and I tried to get tickets, but it was sold out and we weren´t prepared to drop 100E+ on tickets. Vera and Tanya helped us out with info on Oktoberfest though. Eric had been concerned we needed to book seats in the beer tents, but the girls said during the we were fine as long as we were there by early afternoon. Works for us.
Eric and I headed back to Puerta del Sol to grab some food and drinks and wait for Mindy. One of my absolute favorite things about Europe is pulling up at a sidewalk cafe and people watching. And in Spain you get the added bonus of the women being stunners. I´m talking Penelope Cruz - hot. Actually, let me go for more hyperbole - every woman in Spain is a package of Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek making out in a hot tub. Yeah, that´s better. Anyway, we also grabbed fliers for "La Noche an Blanca" (The Night in White). Apparently we had arrived just in time for a big festival in Madrid. Sweet. We´ll be back later.
Satiated (and headed towards inibriated), we got back to the hostel to wait for Mindy. We found out she´s late, so we decided to kick it in the room. Awesome idea. We got just enough of a power nap to get us deep into the night. Mindy arrived to wake us up and we headed out to find some dinner. We found a cool little tapas bar and decided to eat there as we looked over the book. 2 bottles of wine and many plates of tasty food later we realized that the crowds around us had grown considerably. La Noche en Blanca was on! Streets were closed to cars, bars were open, and revelers were plentiful. Wandering the streets amid the mass of huimanity all I could thins was "UCSB!" Yes, I arrived in Madrid and a Isla Vista party broke out. Awesome!
We settled into a patio bar at the Plaza Mayor and had imense fun over 2 large pitchers of Sangria. Fantastico! Mindy however was hitting the wall and when she calls it, it´s over for her. Again navigating the streets was incredible - performers, musicians, and street vendors peddling there wares to the gawkers running around with open containers. Eric and I took dropped off Mindy but thanks to our power-nap had the juice to keep exploring. This time we headed North to Gran Via and it instantly hit me - We found DP! An absolute crush of people flowing up and down the street with a party in mind and no destination. There were also special zones that had a massive 8-person teeter totter and a 2-story slide. Why? No idea. Such is La Noche en Blanca.
Finally running out of steam around 2am, we ventured back to the hostel and took one last look at the craziness from the balcony. What an awesome way to start the trip. From there I noticed the hookers (who had become more aggressive as night fell - shocking) had become noticiably more plentiful and a group had gathered under a tree talking about who-knows-what. I remarked to Eric, ¨Well, I guess that proves the old addage ´Money doesn´t grow on trees, but hookers do.´"
We retired to the room to find Mindy totally passed out on her side with her phone turned up in the palm of her hand like she had been calling her b/f back home. Vera and Tanya were also back and we showed them Mindy and we all had a good laugh. I´m back in Europe, and it already looks like it will be an awesome trip!
There´s nothing more fun than arriving in a new land. 14 hours on a cramped metal tube with bad sleep gets washed away instantly. After a brief stint on the metro and getting lost for about a 1/2 hour, I found the hostel and dropped my bag. Eric wasn´t due for a few hours, so I went to explore the town.
Even though it´s big, Madrid is extremely walkable and gorgeous. Our hostel was on the one of the main streets - Gran Via - right in the heart of the city. And hooker district. I´m just glad the girls picked the place, b/c if Eric or I had, we´d never hear the end of it. Anyway, I spent a few hours jsut exploring the town, many beautiful plazas, the Royal Palace, and the Puerta del Sol - which is where the statue of the bear climbing a tree from the Spanish coat of arms is located.
I got back to the hostel just in time for Eric to arrive and we checked in. The first night we had 3 extra roommates - Yoshi from Tokyo and Vera and Tanya from Munich. Yoshi had tickets to the Real Madrid game so he was on his way out. Eric and I tried to get tickets, but it was sold out and we weren´t prepared to drop 100E+ on tickets. Vera and Tanya helped us out with info on Oktoberfest though. Eric had been concerned we needed to book seats in the beer tents, but the girls said during the we were fine as long as we were there by early afternoon. Works for us.
Eric and I headed back to Puerta del Sol to grab some food and drinks and wait for Mindy. One of my absolute favorite things about Europe is pulling up at a sidewalk cafe and people watching. And in Spain you get the added bonus of the women being stunners. I´m talking Penelope Cruz - hot. Actually, let me go for more hyperbole - every woman in Spain is a package of Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek making out in a hot tub. Yeah, that´s better. Anyway, we also grabbed fliers for "La Noche an Blanca" (The Night in White). Apparently we had arrived just in time for a big festival in Madrid. Sweet. We´ll be back later.
Satiated (and headed towards inibriated), we got back to the hostel to wait for Mindy. We found out she´s late, so we decided to kick it in the room. Awesome idea. We got just enough of a power nap to get us deep into the night. Mindy arrived to wake us up and we headed out to find some dinner. We found a cool little tapas bar and decided to eat there as we looked over the book. 2 bottles of wine and many plates of tasty food later we realized that the crowds around us had grown considerably. La Noche en Blanca was on! Streets were closed to cars, bars were open, and revelers were plentiful. Wandering the streets amid the mass of huimanity all I could thins was "UCSB!" Yes, I arrived in Madrid and a Isla Vista party broke out. Awesome!
We settled into a patio bar at the Plaza Mayor and had imense fun over 2 large pitchers of Sangria. Fantastico! Mindy however was hitting the wall and when she calls it, it´s over for her. Again navigating the streets was incredible - performers, musicians, and street vendors peddling there wares to the gawkers running around with open containers. Eric and I took dropped off Mindy but thanks to our power-nap had the juice to keep exploring. This time we headed North to Gran Via and it instantly hit me - We found DP! An absolute crush of people flowing up and down the street with a party in mind and no destination. There were also special zones that had a massive 8-person teeter totter and a 2-story slide. Why? No idea. Such is La Noche en Blanca.
Finally running out of steam around 2am, we ventured back to the hostel and took one last look at the craziness from the balcony. What an awesome way to start the trip. From there I noticed the hookers (who had become more aggressive as night fell - shocking) had become noticiably more plentiful and a group had gathered under a tree talking about who-knows-what. I remarked to Eric, ¨Well, I guess that proves the old addage ´Money doesn´t grow on trees, but hookers do.´"
We retired to the room to find Mindy totally passed out on her side with her phone turned up in the palm of her hand like she had been calling her b/f back home. Vera and Tanya were also back and we showed them Mindy and we all had a good laugh. I´m back in Europe, and it already looks like it will be an awesome trip!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Final Countdown, Part Deax
Has it really been 3 years since I last visited Europe? I sit here at 6am, finally ready to go and I can't help but laugh at myself in this same position in 2007:
http://burke75.blogspot.com/2007/07/final-countdown.html
This year's plan is as follows:
9/10 - Depart - Go f$%k yourself San Diego (J/K, I still love you)
9/11 - Madrid - Viva Espana!
9/15 - Barcelona - Kicking the party up a notch...
9/19 - Munich - Oktoberfest!!!!
9/23 - Berlin - Wasn't there a wall around here somewhere?
9/26 - Return
9/27 - Least Effective Employee, Ever.
Joining the adventure:
Mindy, the Beryl St party girl
Joel, LT. Pound a Liter
Anisha, "Woooo!" when she's drunk
Eric, The International Rookie
Check back often...
http://burke75.blogspot.com/2007/07/final-countdown.html
This year's plan is as follows:
9/10 - Depart - Go f$%k yourself San Diego (J/K, I still love you)
9/11 - Madrid - Viva Espana!
9/15 - Barcelona - Kicking the party up a notch...
9/19 - Munich - Oktoberfest!!!!
9/23 - Berlin - Wasn't there a wall around here somewhere?
9/26 - Return
9/27 - Least Effective Employee, Ever.
Joining the adventure:
Mindy, the Beryl St party girl
Joel, LT. Pound a Liter
Anisha, "Woooo!" when she's drunk
Eric, The International Rookie
Check back often...
Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9
Friday, August 13, 2010
Placeholder - Brandon Invades San Diego
Coming Soon
- Slutvana and The Waterfront
- Messing with Uncle Tom
- What is it with us and Brazilians?
- Day on the Bay
Friday, July 30, 2010
Placeholder - Steve's Wedding
Coming soon:
- The run to the rehearsal
- The Best Man blacks out
- The new Three Wisemen
- Steve and Steph - It's official!
- The perfect smokes for the occasion
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Memorial Day with Johnny Come Lately
Friday night, Memorial Day weekend, Mike D calls and says, "Let's play golf tomorrow." I'm exhausted from a week of school/work I can't even remember - so heck yeah, let's do it. We book a 12:30pm tee time. I tell Mike "You know what? I haven't played in a few weeks and I'm not going out tonight, so let's get there at 11:30am to warm up. In fact, I'll be there at 11am and we'll see if we can get an earlier start." Famous last words...
Saturday
12:00pm - I wake up. Uh-oh.
12:15pm - on the road, hauling ass
12:30pm -
Mike: "Where are you? They're calling your name over the speaker"
Me: "Meet in me in the parking lot with the cart."
12:45 - I sprint to the clubhouse to check in. We're up next - PHEW!
When checking in at the clubhouse, I end up behind these two guys that are insistent about having their own carts, even though they were playing as a pair. One is saying he's got his 5yr old son with him. This guy seemed pretty reasonable. The other guy claims that he's legally blind and needs his caretaker to come with him. Huh? This guy was a total piece of work too. Easily in his 40s and taken enough drugs to look in his 50s. He had flame tattoos covering his forearms and shins, big, dark, HD Vision sunglasses, and a brimmed hat with a 12" feather in it. His ratty T-Shirt and shorts were the least strange part of his look. I walked out thinking "please tell me we aren't playing with them."
We go the go to hit the teebox and at first it was looking like Mike D and I were playing on our own - sweet. We give the guys in front of us time to clear, I line up my shot, and - whack! - slice right into a flock of ducks and bounce into the water. Oh man, it's gonna be a rough day. Mike tees up and as he's warming up, Flame tats and his buddy pull up in their carts to join us. Oh man, it's really going to be a rough day.
Brian, the guy with the kid introduces himself first. Seems like a laid back guy just keeping an eye on his kid. Works for me. Fame tats introduces himself as Johnny. Or at least I think that's what he slurred. Accompanying him is his...ummmm..."caretaker." This girl doesn't look a day over 17 and her sheer top and mini-mini skirt. Her nipples are poking though her shirt and her ass is hanging below the skirt-line. I'm convinced she's a stripper.
Brian walks up and tees off fine. Mike and I look towards Johnny, who is being led to the tee by his caretaker. Elephant-walk style. I haven't seen this since my days in Beta. The girl puts his ball in the ground and puts on a show of pointing him in the proper direction. Mike and I are looking at each other going "What the f$%k is this?" Johnny cranks back and launches the ball 200 yards. Mike and I shoot each other a look. We're instantly calling BS on this guy. As we turn the corner away from the clubhouse, suddenly Johnny can see fine. The entire time he's just trying to avoid paying the $10 ride-along fee for his girl. Really?
We get to the first green and Johnny lines up his chip. Except it's my ball. His ball is about 20 feet away. I notice it and see "BD" written on it in red sharpie. Now, I play with buddies who put their initials on their balls to ID them easier. Why would Johnny have "BD" written on his. "Because I'm the 'Big Daddy'" he tells me. And less I be confused by that statement, he rotates the ball to show me the other side which actually has written out "B-i-g D-a-d-d-y". Thanks for the clarification.
As we waited at the second tee - passing for the second time on taking a hit of Johnny's doobie - we come to learn that Johnny's "caretaker" is in fact his girlfriend. As far as we can tell he's training her to be his caddie. He, Brian, and his girl have just come out from Colorado. He asks where we're from and Mike replies North County while I say PB. "Oh nice," Johnny says. "We've got a place down on Mission Bay at Campland." Campland - for the uninformed - is the trailer park on the banks of the run-off pool known as Mission Bay. By "got a place" Johnny meant "drove our place." Things are starting make a lot more sense.
Fast-forward to the 4th green. I'm stuck in the rough (what else is new), however Mike over on the green observes the following sequence: Johnny gets down on all fours to sight his putt and tells his girlfriend to do the same. He decides she's not low enough to the ground and says she needs to stick her ass up and get her eye-level as low as possible. Once he gets her in this position, he pops up, maneuvers behind her, flips up for mini-skirt (exposing her thong), and proceeds to play her ass like a set of bongos. Mike said he spun 360 degrees trying to find someone else who saw this. I only saw the girl assuming the position. Johnny has officially become "Johnny Come Lately".
[Side bar - You may be wondering where Brian and his kid are. Well, near as we can tell Brian wants nothing to do with the guy, but Johnny somehow has him hooked. The guy must owe him money or had Johnny help him kill a hooker. We never did figure this out]
Up to the 5th tee, Mike has just told me the bongo story. Johnny is up first and yells for his g/f "Hey baby. Bring Big Daddy his big stick." What a winner. Johnny tees off, followed by Brian, then me. Mike D is last up. I watch his tee shot what was fine, but I see him turn and instantly a shocked look comes to his face. I turn to see what he's looking at and I almost fall over backwards. Perched on top of the ball washer, is a white Cockatoo - probably 4 feet from the top of his head to the end of his tail feathers. Before we can even ask "WTF?" Johnny is yelling "Baby, get Trixie." [Trixie was the bird, not the stripper] "But he's scratching me," she whines back. "Go get her woman." Again, winner. "Dude. WTF? Where the hell did that bird come from?" Mike asks me as we head down the fairway. "Did we just play 4 holes of golf and not notice a 4-foot fucking bird in Johnny's cart?" was all I could say. We're getting dangerously close to this becoming the craziest day ever...
8th teebox - Johnny Come Lately is standing next to me and gets on some rant about how he grew up in La Jolla, obviously blowing any potential he had on cheap drugs. He then mentions that I should check out his golf shoes. "Genuine python skin," he boasts. I take a look and in fact he's right, brown golf shoes with sections of real snake skin. At this point nothing can surprise me. "I had them custom made for me by a gypsy in Thailand," he adds. Wow Johnny. You went to Thailand, banged a bunch of skanky 3rd world hookers, and thought to yourself, "Man, I really need new golf shoes. OH! Python skin!" Really?
10th teebox - underage-trailerpark-stripper-girlfriend is getting tired and lays down on her side on the grass. Johnny tees off with an iron since it was a short hole and walks over by his girl. he proceeds to lift up her mini-skirt with his club and stick the clubhead into her buttcrack. I shoot a look to Mike and he saw it too. For the record ladies, Mike and I are both single and we won't shove an 8 iron up your asscrack if you decide you need to take a catnap. I'll just add that to my eHarmony profile, lest there be any confusion.
The rest of the outing was fairly uneventful Mike D and I just stuck to our game. That night we were out with friends at Firehouse recounting the story and had everyone rolling. Holy hell. I wish I was imaginative enough to make this stuff up. I guess my reality remains stranger than fiction.
Final weekend notes that just couldn't top the Saturday experience:
- We had club seats for the Pads game Sunday - pimp! When they stop serving booze at the seats, we have access to the exclusive club that doesn't have a cut-off. The game went extra innings too. Good times.
-After the game we went to the Top of the Marriott where there was an impromptu "Pimps 'n Hoes" party going on. A bunch of trashy chicks getting freaky with every guy they passed. Tragic.
- I had to pick Mike D up downtown on the sidewalk outside of a hotel on Monday morning after the chick he was getting freaky with wouldn't take him back to my place in PB. Good for Mikey, but I still made him buy me breakfast.
Saturday
12:00pm - I wake up. Uh-oh.
12:15pm - on the road, hauling ass
12:30pm -
Mike: "Where are you? They're calling your name over the speaker"
Me: "Meet in me in the parking lot with the cart."
12:45 - I sprint to the clubhouse to check in. We're up next - PHEW!
When checking in at the clubhouse, I end up behind these two guys that are insistent about having their own carts, even though they were playing as a pair. One is saying he's got his 5yr old son with him. This guy seemed pretty reasonable. The other guy claims that he's legally blind and needs his caretaker to come with him. Huh? This guy was a total piece of work too. Easily in his 40s and taken enough drugs to look in his 50s. He had flame tattoos covering his forearms and shins, big, dark, HD Vision sunglasses, and a brimmed hat with a 12" feather in it. His ratty T-Shirt and shorts were the least strange part of his look. I walked out thinking "please tell me we aren't playing with them."
We go the go to hit the teebox and at first it was looking like Mike D and I were playing on our own - sweet. We give the guys in front of us time to clear, I line up my shot, and - whack! - slice right into a flock of ducks and bounce into the water. Oh man, it's gonna be a rough day. Mike tees up and as he's warming up, Flame tats and his buddy pull up in their carts to join us. Oh man, it's really going to be a rough day.
Brian, the guy with the kid introduces himself first. Seems like a laid back guy just keeping an eye on his kid. Works for me. Fame tats introduces himself as Johnny. Or at least I think that's what he slurred. Accompanying him is his...ummmm..."caretaker." This girl doesn't look a day over 17 and her sheer top and mini-mini skirt. Her nipples are poking though her shirt and her ass is hanging below the skirt-line. I'm convinced she's a stripper.
Brian walks up and tees off fine. Mike and I look towards Johnny, who is being led to the tee by his caretaker. Elephant-walk style. I haven't seen this since my days in Beta. The girl puts his ball in the ground and puts on a show of pointing him in the proper direction. Mike and I are looking at each other going "What the f$%k is this?" Johnny cranks back and launches the ball 200 yards. Mike and I shoot each other a look. We're instantly calling BS on this guy. As we turn the corner away from the clubhouse, suddenly Johnny can see fine. The entire time he's just trying to avoid paying the $10 ride-along fee for his girl. Really?
We get to the first green and Johnny lines up his chip. Except it's my ball. His ball is about 20 feet away. I notice it and see "BD" written on it in red sharpie. Now, I play with buddies who put their initials on their balls to ID them easier. Why would Johnny have "BD" written on his. "Because I'm the 'Big Daddy'" he tells me. And less I be confused by that statement, he rotates the ball to show me the other side which actually has written out "B-i-g D-a-d-d-y". Thanks for the clarification.
As we waited at the second tee - passing for the second time on taking a hit of Johnny's doobie - we come to learn that Johnny's "caretaker" is in fact his girlfriend. As far as we can tell he's training her to be his caddie. He, Brian, and his girl have just come out from Colorado. He asks where we're from and Mike replies North County while I say PB. "Oh nice," Johnny says. "We've got a place down on Mission Bay at Campland." Campland - for the uninformed - is the trailer park on the banks of the run-off pool known as Mission Bay. By "got a place" Johnny meant "drove our place." Things are starting make a lot more sense.
Fast-forward to the 4th green. I'm stuck in the rough (what else is new), however Mike over on the green observes the following sequence: Johnny gets down on all fours to sight his putt and tells his girlfriend to do the same. He decides she's not low enough to the ground and says she needs to stick her ass up and get her eye-level as low as possible. Once he gets her in this position, he pops up, maneuvers behind her, flips up for mini-skirt (exposing her thong), and proceeds to play her ass like a set of bongos. Mike said he spun 360 degrees trying to find someone else who saw this. I only saw the girl assuming the position. Johnny has officially become "Johnny Come Lately".
[Side bar - You may be wondering where Brian and his kid are. Well, near as we can tell Brian wants nothing to do with the guy, but Johnny somehow has him hooked. The guy must owe him money or had Johnny help him kill a hooker. We never did figure this out]
Up to the 5th tee, Mike has just told me the bongo story. Johnny is up first and yells for his g/f "Hey baby. Bring Big Daddy his big stick." What a winner. Johnny tees off, followed by Brian, then me. Mike D is last up. I watch his tee shot what was fine, but I see him turn and instantly a shocked look comes to his face. I turn to see what he's looking at and I almost fall over backwards. Perched on top of the ball washer, is a white Cockatoo - probably 4 feet from the top of his head to the end of his tail feathers. Before we can even ask "WTF?" Johnny is yelling "Baby, get Trixie." [Trixie was the bird, not the stripper] "But he's scratching me," she whines back. "Go get her woman." Again, winner. "Dude. WTF? Where the hell did that bird come from?" Mike asks me as we head down the fairway. "Did we just play 4 holes of golf and not notice a 4-foot fucking bird in Johnny's cart?" was all I could say. We're getting dangerously close to this becoming the craziest day ever...
8th teebox - Johnny Come Lately is standing next to me and gets on some rant about how he grew up in La Jolla, obviously blowing any potential he had on cheap drugs. He then mentions that I should check out his golf shoes. "Genuine python skin," he boasts. I take a look and in fact he's right, brown golf shoes with sections of real snake skin. At this point nothing can surprise me. "I had them custom made for me by a gypsy in Thailand," he adds. Wow Johnny. You went to Thailand, banged a bunch of skanky 3rd world hookers, and thought to yourself, "Man, I really need new golf shoes. OH! Python skin!" Really?
10th teebox - underage-trailerpark-stripper-girlfriend is getting tired and lays down on her side on the grass. Johnny tees off with an iron since it was a short hole and walks over by his girl. he proceeds to lift up her mini-skirt with his club and stick the clubhead into her buttcrack. I shoot a look to Mike and he saw it too. For the record ladies, Mike and I are both single and we won't shove an 8 iron up your asscrack if you decide you need to take a catnap. I'll just add that to my eHarmony profile, lest there be any confusion.
The rest of the outing was fairly uneventful Mike D and I just stuck to our game. That night we were out with friends at Firehouse recounting the story and had everyone rolling. Holy hell. I wish I was imaginative enough to make this stuff up. I guess my reality remains stranger than fiction.
Final weekend notes that just couldn't top the Saturday experience:
- We had club seats for the Pads game Sunday - pimp! When they stop serving booze at the seats, we have access to the exclusive club that doesn't have a cut-off. The game went extra innings too. Good times.
-After the game we went to the Top of the Marriott where there was an impromptu "Pimps 'n Hoes" party going on. A bunch of trashy chicks getting freaky with every guy they passed. Tragic.
- I had to pick Mike D up downtown on the sidewalk outside of a hotel on Monday morning after the chick he was getting freaky with wouldn't take him back to my place in PB. Good for Mikey, but I still made him buy me breakfast.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Bay Area Bar Crawl
2 weeks later I'm back in the Bay Area. Why? For a sales seminar. You may think "But Keith, you're not in sales" and you'd be correct. They sold this trip to me, the other product manager, and our marketing coordinator as a sales support tool. After talking to a few of our sales guys, i think they paid for the seminar w/o asking the sales team if they could attend and scrambled to send anyone when they couldn't fill the seats. Lucky us.
It was a pretty long week, definitely too long for what I got out of it. I can help support sales, but at end of the day I'm not managing a pipeline. Personally, I did get some good stuff out of it. We were teamed up with people from different companies and I ended up in a group with a Canadian, Pakistani, Colombian, and a Zonie. I was the youngest of the group so I figured I'd defer and try to learn a little. The first order of business, they nominated me team leader. Whoa. You know what though, I'm here and I may as well make it a challenge, what the hell, let's do it! We did really well and all the guys (all fairly older than me) came up afterward and thanked me for my leadership. Badass.
By the end of the week I was pretty burned out and maybe should have gone home. Since I'm here though, let's call up my old college roommate, Cal.
Cal tells me he's got tickets to the A's game Friday - tailgate, beers, the whole 9. During the conference, the other product manager asks me who the A's are playing, so I look it up. The A's aren't even in Oakland that weekend. What? I call Cal the next morning to see what I missed. It went something like this:
Me: Hey Jackass, the A's aren't even in town this weekend
BJ: [super-groggy]What are you talking about fucker?
Me: The A's are in Anaheim.
BJ: [pause, waking up]
BJ: Ahhhhhh, Epic Fail!
Haha, dumbass.
Well, never let a broken plan get in the way of an awesome weekend, so we instantly swing into Plan B mode and decide to invent a BART Bar Crawl. Cal lives a 2 minute walk from the BART station by his house, so to prevent DUI situations and $100 cab rides, he wanted to have a drinking map guaranteeing him to maximize partying while still making it home on the last train of the night. Works for me. We did some research throughout the week and found every bar w/in a quarter-mile of every BART stop from his house to Berkley and the Embarcadero. When my seminar wrapped Friday I hopped on the BART and cruised to Cal's pad.
Upon arrival Cal had a new twist - gotta have a game of Bingo to go with the BBC. This isn't your grandmother's bingo, rather it's a set of objectives to achieve by the end of the night. Examples include:
- Spy a black thong on a chick leaning over the bar or a pool table
- Get a girl to talk about eating organic
- Get a hippie chick to prove she doesn't shave her pits (Berkley only)
- Get a cougar to tell you her real age
There were many more I can't remember, but we have a master list (somewhere). Anyway, achieve any of the above and you instantly have to yell "Bingo!" and you get to choose who buys the next round. Brilliant!
We hit a chill local bar in Pleasant Hill, Pyramid Brew House in Walnut Creek, the bar in Lafayette we'd been to on the previous trip, and ended up at a Irish pub in Orinda. Bingos so far: 1 - Cal got a chick to talk about eating organic meat at some restaurant. We acquired 3 additional friends in Orinda - Charlene, Charlene's bro, and Katz. We were out on the patio drinking and Cal ended up placed next to two girls so he struck up a conversation. Turns out they were lesbians - not that there's anything wrong with that - expect that this spun Cal in a whole new direction. Cal is an ultimate people person and so he had to know all kinds of facts - who asked who out, who paid, who went in for a kiss first - the girls were pretty shocked which was hilarious. The kicker though is I know he was driving to ask them about their sex life - which he thankfully never achieved. Every question however was prefaced by a "Uhhhh, ummmm..." like he was thinking about how to phrase it, but really he was just stopping himself from asking how they get it on. "Ask lesbians how they get it on" is now part of the master list.
Charlene and her brother took off after that and Katz, Cal, and I pushed on to Berkley. By this time we were pretty smashed. We ended up at a bar that was OK; mostly college kids in clicks. We only had about 45 mins to get back on the BART so we lost momentum pretty quickly. We also decided that whoever can get the last bingo gets to pick the guy who buys beer on the way home.
On the way down to the platform we came across a drunk pack of students and one of the girls - we'll call her that - grabbed Cal and tried to molest him. Watching Cal breakaway was like a gazelle escaping a lion - zig, zag, zoom. I pointed out after we'd rounded the corner that he had a chance to score a "Get a fat chick to tell you her real weight" bingo. He stopped, looked back that direction, took and moment, and simply said "Not worth it."
We got on the BART home, Katz switching trains to get back to Man Jose, Cal and I back to Concord. We were having a riot on the ride home, holding court with the people around us. As the train thinned out we ended up chatting up an older woman who was on her way home from hanging out with friends. After a little sweet talk - I was drunk, so I know I sounded good - she gave me her actual age. BINGO! Cal is buying a 30-pack. Cal went to work trying to get the woman to come home with us, but she wasn't having any of it. As we were in line at the store Cal goes "I should be hitting that. She owes me for this." Haha, yeah, whatever drunkey.
The next morning I decided to make a run to SFO to get home a bit early. Cal and I agreed the next run has to happen in SD. Start preparing yourself now...
It was a pretty long week, definitely too long for what I got out of it. I can help support sales, but at end of the day I'm not managing a pipeline. Personally, I did get some good stuff out of it. We were teamed up with people from different companies and I ended up in a group with a Canadian, Pakistani, Colombian, and a Zonie. I was the youngest of the group so I figured I'd defer and try to learn a little. The first order of business, they nominated me team leader. Whoa. You know what though, I'm here and I may as well make it a challenge, what the hell, let's do it! We did really well and all the guys (all fairly older than me) came up afterward and thanked me for my leadership. Badass.
By the end of the week I was pretty burned out and maybe should have gone home. Since I'm here though, let's call up my old college roommate, Cal.
Cal tells me he's got tickets to the A's game Friday - tailgate, beers, the whole 9. During the conference, the other product manager asks me who the A's are playing, so I look it up. The A's aren't even in Oakland that weekend. What? I call Cal the next morning to see what I missed. It went something like this:
Me: Hey Jackass, the A's aren't even in town this weekend
BJ: [super-groggy]
Me: The A's are in Anaheim.
BJ: [pause, waking up]
BJ: Ahhhhhh, Epic Fail!
Haha, dumbass.
Well, never let a broken plan get in the way of an awesome weekend, so we instantly swing into Plan B mode and decide to invent a BART Bar Crawl. Cal lives a 2 minute walk from the BART station by his house, so to prevent DUI situations and $100 cab rides, he wanted to have a drinking map guaranteeing him to maximize partying while still making it home on the last train of the night. Works for me. We did some research throughout the week and found every bar w/in a quarter-mile of every BART stop from his house to Berkley and the Embarcadero. When my seminar wrapped Friday I hopped on the BART and cruised to Cal's pad.
Upon arrival Cal had a new twist - gotta have a game of Bingo to go with the BBC. This isn't your grandmother's bingo, rather it's a set of objectives to achieve by the end of the night. Examples include:
- Spy a black thong on a chick leaning over the bar or a pool table
- Get a girl to talk about eating organic
- Get a hippie chick to prove she doesn't shave her pits (Berkley only)
- Get a cougar to tell you her real age
There were many more I can't remember, but we have a master list (somewhere). Anyway, achieve any of the above and you instantly have to yell "Bingo!" and you get to choose who buys the next round. Brilliant!
We hit a chill local bar in Pleasant Hill, Pyramid Brew House in Walnut Creek, the bar in Lafayette we'd been to on the previous trip, and ended up at a Irish pub in Orinda. Bingos so far: 1 - Cal got a chick to talk about eating organic meat at some restaurant. We acquired 3 additional friends in Orinda - Charlene, Charlene's bro, and Katz. We were out on the patio drinking and Cal ended up placed next to two girls so he struck up a conversation. Turns out they were lesbians - not that there's anything wrong with that - expect that this spun Cal in a whole new direction. Cal is an ultimate people person and so he had to know all kinds of facts - who asked who out, who paid, who went in for a kiss first - the girls were pretty shocked which was hilarious. The kicker though is I know he was driving to ask them about their sex life - which he thankfully never achieved. Every question however was prefaced by a "Uhhhh, ummmm..." like he was thinking about how to phrase it, but really he was just stopping himself from asking how they get it on. "Ask lesbians how they get it on" is now part of the master list.
Charlene and her brother took off after that and Katz, Cal, and I pushed on to Berkley. By this time we were pretty smashed. We ended up at a bar that was OK; mostly college kids in clicks. We only had about 45 mins to get back on the BART so we lost momentum pretty quickly. We also decided that whoever can get the last bingo gets to pick the guy who buys beer on the way home.
On the way down to the platform we came across a drunk pack of students and one of the girls - we'll call her that - grabbed Cal and tried to molest him. Watching Cal breakaway was like a gazelle escaping a lion - zig, zag, zoom. I pointed out after we'd rounded the corner that he had a chance to score a "Get a fat chick to tell you her real weight" bingo. He stopped, looked back that direction, took and moment, and simply said "Not worth it."
We got on the BART home, Katz switching trains to get back to Man Jose, Cal and I back to Concord. We were having a riot on the ride home, holding court with the people around us. As the train thinned out we ended up chatting up an older woman who was on her way home from hanging out with friends. After a little sweet talk - I was drunk, so I know I sounded good - she gave me her actual age. BINGO! Cal is buying a 30-pack. Cal went to work trying to get the woman to come home with us, but she wasn't having any of it. As we were in line at the store Cal goes "I should be hitting that. She owes me for this." Haha, yeah, whatever drunkey.
The next morning I decided to make a run to SFO to get home a bit early. Cal and I agreed the next run has to happen in SD. Start preparing yourself now...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Steve's Bachelor Party
July 31st, 2010, Steven Gregory Burke becomes the first of the Burke clan to marry. This will probably be the last time I'm a Best Man. My goal: in 20 years I want to look back and view this as the peak of my groomsmanship. Let' see how I did...
Thursday, April 15th, 8am.
I am out the door on my way to...Long Beach. Long Beach? Oh yeah, Long Beach. Joining me for the drive out, the man, the jackass myth, the slapdick legend - Christopher "Spanky" Spangler. This was never on my bucket list, but when Spanky offered to ride out with me it instantly recorded a spot. Spanky is Steve's best bud from college and we had a great ride out swapping Redlands/UCSB stories, rocking out to Pearl Jam, and getting the weekend off to rollicking good start.
We hit Costco when we got to town and stocked up to fill the house. Did I say house? I meant mansion. 8 bedrooms, 6 bath, pool, hot tub, chipping green, volleyball court, pool table, on and on. Shortly after we got setup the next of the crew arrived and it was game on. Car bombs, cocktails, beer pong, and BBQ. A good chunk of the guys arrived fairly late b/c they had to work, so we didn't get enough momentum going to hit the town. My buddy Andrew who lives in Vegas with his wife and kid was able to come out. I hadn't seen him in nearly a year and we've been friends since 4th grade, so it was good he could come out.
Friday, April 16th, 11am
I'm driving to the other side of Vegas to return a keg shell I somehow got snookered into reimbursing the deposit for. Ugh. Got that handled and headed to Encore to pick up one of my bro's friends who didn't want to stay at the house. No answer to his phone or at the room. Meanwhile my buddy Matt Hessing is arriving at the house. It's noon, it's time to get home and get back to drinking.
We spent the afternoon drinking, Clarke cooked his famous tri-tip dinner, and we were feeling pretty good as the cabs rolled up. Tonight's destination: the Palms. The PBR Rodeo was in town, so the place was packed. The group kind of fractured, some to the bar, others to the tables. Ted and I ended up in the corner of a bar calling hosts at strip clubs. We got a deal at Sapphire - they'll pick us up and provide us with no cover and a table. D-U-N, Done.
With the club handled and our ride a 1/2 hour or so away, I lean in on a craps table. After a while people started slapping me on the shoulder saying the ride was there and it was time to go. Here's the thing, I had a feeling about this craps table. I wasn't up much, maybe $40 on a $100 buy-in, but I felt like it would be worth sticking around. After enduring a bunch of crap, I threw $100 into Clarke's hand and said "Get to club, get started, we're right behind you." 4 of the guys stayed behind with me.
Two rolls later the craps table IGNITES! We couldn't roll wrong, it was incredible. Between the 5 of us, we probably rolled 130 times. we were making hundreds and the group at the other end was making thousands. I had such a nice long roll - hitting hard ways and points like mad - that a guy in the other group tossed me a $100 chip at the end of the run. Yountchi was off the charts as well. At one point he pointed the 9, so a bunch of guys moved their bets to the 5. Yountchi rolls 4-1, 3-2, 4-1, 5-4. Winner, winner, winner, point-back winner!!! Holy shnikies! I don't even know how long we were there, but we felt the table cooling off and knew we had to get to the strip club. As we were coloring up I looked at the pit boss and asked "We got a lot of buzz going, can we get some help getting to our friends at the club?" He looked at me, thought for a moment and said, "Cash out and come back here." At the cage, I watched as the cashier just kept rolling hundreds out in front of me. I cashed out $600, which doesn't count at least another $150 I tipped out to the waitress that kept us nice and loaded. Unreal. all the guys cashed out a nice amount. I don;t know the exact count, but I think it was somewhere in the neighborhood of $1,700.
Back at the table, a host was waiting for us and led us out to a stretched H2 limo. We were drinking and laughing the entire way over. Once at Sapphire the bouncer sees us in line and reminds us that there's a $40 cover. "Check your book, we're supposed to be comp'ed through," I say. A moment later the bouncer comes back, "I apologize for the confusion Mr. Burke. Right this way, your table is ready for you and your party." Yeah, I'm important. I had to sign a sheet acknowledging our comp, so I paused to address the guys: "This money is all about Steve, we're blowing every dime in that room."
We entered the room, found the guys and it was game-on. I found Brian - my youngest bro, starving college student - slapped $100 in his hand and said, "go to town bro." I found Steve, slapped $200 in his hand and told him to enjoy the last of his bachelorhood. I sat down in the middle of the group, ordered a round of drinks and played director. Every time a girl came up and the guy she was talking too seemed to balk at getting a lap dance, I threw $20 at him and said stop being a pansy. A few of the girls caught into this and suddenly I'm getting free lap dances b/c they think they're going to get me back to the private room. One by one they gave up, save one. She claimed she went to college in SD (right). SDSU I ask? No, UCSD (uh-huh). Dance major? Hehehe. OK, yeah, you're a college-educated stripper. I swear she had a bet backstage. She came back to me 3-4 times and every time I denied her. The final time I saw her she was giving me another free dance when she said "I know you're ready to take me to a private room." "I should warn you I have indominable will," I responded. She turned around, leaned up to my ear and replied, "Good thing I'm a dominatrix," and proceeded to nearly take out a chuck of my earlobe. Hey-O! Kinky college educated stripper. Intriguing, but I'm still not paying you $150. sorry Jade...or Jasmine...or Candy...Lacy...whatever the heck your name was.
Saturday, 4/17, 7:00am
We come busting out of the club into the morning sunshine, every dime spent. Holy crap. The group starts to head all different directions. Hessing, Yountchi and I are craving breakfast. We head down the strip and eventually stumble upon a Fatburger. Bacon-egg-cheeseburger, stat! We were so gone at this point, each of us got our burger and we were instantly engrossed in our own worlds. Every now and then we'd look up, make eye contact, give a look of "Did that just EFFing happen?" and bust up laughing. Un-freakin-believable. We finally got back to the house around 9am and hit the sack. Vega baby!
Saturday, 4/17, 2pm
Back in action. Well, mostly. OK, we'll call it low-level functional. Mostly we spent the day lounging by the pool and finishing the volleyball tournament we'd started the day before b/c Steve requested that the trip be capped by a brothers dinner at the Hofbrauhaus Las Vegas.
I've been to the real Hof and I've been to I have to say, the one in Vegas is as close as I think a place could get. The decor was pretty much spot-on, the beer was good, the beermaids looked good, the band was a bit more rock than polka, but they had an accordion and a 40-foot horn (yes, 40 feet). I couldn't match the ambiance, but we're here to party for Steve so that wasn't as much of a concern.
We were getting settled in with the first round and some Bavarian pretzels when someone spotted the Jager girl and her tray of shots. Oh, and she's got a paddle. Oh, and I'm sitting at a table of my bro's degenerate frat brothers. Shit. The groom was getting paddled. That meant so must the best man. Son of a bitch! If I'm going down, I'm taking as many with me as possible. As soon as I took my lump I instantly grabbed Brian - your bros just got paddled, so are you. Then we made sure the rest of the groomsmen got theirs. Once done, a instant moratorium was set for the next 6 months. We're not having a repeat of this jackassery at the wedding.
2 shots, 4 Liters, and a plate of schnitzel later we were flying. We headed across the street to the Hard Rock for the night. Moderate success ensued. I went down on pai-gow, but got back up on blackjack and hit even at craps. I tried to get Yountchi in on the craps game to rekindle the previous night's magic, but it was not to be. You can't force these things. By 1am most of us were out of steam. A crew ventured off to try to track down a bachelorette party, but most of us were not in game shape for that (Epilogue: it didn't work out. Shocking).
The next day we were up and out. Holy crap what a weekend. Everyone agreed I need to quit my job and start a best man/bachelor party consulting service. Wait for the wedding gentlemen, you ain't seen nothing yet...8-)
Thursday, April 15th, 8am.
I am out the door on my way to...Long Beach. Long Beach? Oh yeah, Long Beach. Joining me for the drive out, the man, the jackass myth, the slapdick legend - Christopher "Spanky" Spangler. This was never on my bucket list, but when Spanky offered to ride out with me it instantly recorded a spot. Spanky is Steve's best bud from college and we had a great ride out swapping Redlands/UCSB stories, rocking out to Pearl Jam, and getting the weekend off to rollicking good start.
We hit Costco when we got to town and stocked up to fill the house. Did I say house? I meant mansion. 8 bedrooms, 6 bath, pool, hot tub, chipping green, volleyball court, pool table, on and on. Shortly after we got setup the next of the crew arrived and it was game on. Car bombs, cocktails, beer pong, and BBQ. A good chunk of the guys arrived fairly late b/c they had to work, so we didn't get enough momentum going to hit the town. My buddy Andrew who lives in Vegas with his wife and kid was able to come out. I hadn't seen him in nearly a year and we've been friends since 4th grade, so it was good he could come out.
Friday, April 16th, 11am
I'm driving to the other side of Vegas to return a keg shell I somehow got snookered into reimbursing the deposit for. Ugh. Got that handled and headed to Encore to pick up one of my bro's friends who didn't want to stay at the house. No answer to his phone or at the room. Meanwhile my buddy Matt Hessing is arriving at the house. It's noon, it's time to get home and get back to drinking.
We spent the afternoon drinking, Clarke cooked his famous tri-tip dinner, and we were feeling pretty good as the cabs rolled up. Tonight's destination: the Palms. The PBR Rodeo was in town, so the place was packed. The group kind of fractured, some to the bar, others to the tables. Ted and I ended up in the corner of a bar calling hosts at strip clubs. We got a deal at Sapphire - they'll pick us up and provide us with no cover and a table. D-U-N, Done.
With the club handled and our ride a 1/2 hour or so away, I lean in on a craps table. After a while people started slapping me on the shoulder saying the ride was there and it was time to go. Here's the thing, I had a feeling about this craps table. I wasn't up much, maybe $40 on a $100 buy-in, but I felt like it would be worth sticking around. After enduring a bunch of crap, I threw $100 into Clarke's hand and said "Get to club, get started, we're right behind you." 4 of the guys stayed behind with me.
Two rolls later the craps table IGNITES! We couldn't roll wrong, it was incredible. Between the 5 of us, we probably rolled 130 times. we were making hundreds and the group at the other end was making thousands. I had such a nice long roll - hitting hard ways and points like mad - that a guy in the other group tossed me a $100 chip at the end of the run. Yountchi was off the charts as well. At one point he pointed the 9, so a bunch of guys moved their bets to the 5. Yountchi rolls 4-1, 3-2, 4-1, 5-4. Winner, winner, winner, point-back winner!!! Holy shnikies! I don't even know how long we were there, but we felt the table cooling off and knew we had to get to the strip club. As we were coloring up I looked at the pit boss and asked "We got a lot of buzz going, can we get some help getting to our friends at the club?" He looked at me, thought for a moment and said, "Cash out and come back here." At the cage, I watched as the cashier just kept rolling hundreds out in front of me. I cashed out $600, which doesn't count at least another $150 I tipped out to the waitress that kept us nice and loaded. Unreal. all the guys cashed out a nice amount. I don;t know the exact count, but I think it was somewhere in the neighborhood of $1,700.
Back at the table, a host was waiting for us and led us out to a stretched H2 limo. We were drinking and laughing the entire way over. Once at Sapphire the bouncer sees us in line and reminds us that there's a $40 cover. "Check your book, we're supposed to be comp'ed through," I say. A moment later the bouncer comes back, "I apologize for the confusion Mr. Burke. Right this way, your table is ready for you and your party." Yeah, I'm important. I had to sign a sheet acknowledging our comp, so I paused to address the guys: "This money is all about Steve, we're blowing every dime in that room."
We entered the room, found the guys and it was game-on. I found Brian - my youngest bro, starving college student - slapped $100 in his hand and said, "go to town bro." I found Steve, slapped $200 in his hand and told him to enjoy the last of his bachelorhood. I sat down in the middle of the group, ordered a round of drinks and played director. Every time a girl came up and the guy she was talking too seemed to balk at getting a lap dance, I threw $20 at him and said stop being a pansy. A few of the girls caught into this and suddenly I'm getting free lap dances b/c they think they're going to get me back to the private room. One by one they gave up, save one. She claimed she went to college in SD (right). SDSU I ask? No, UCSD (uh-huh). Dance major? Hehehe. OK, yeah, you're a college-educated stripper. I swear she had a bet backstage. She came back to me 3-4 times and every time I denied her. The final time I saw her she was giving me another free dance when she said "I know you're ready to take me to a private room." "I should warn you I have indominable will," I responded. She turned around, leaned up to my ear and replied, "Good thing I'm a dominatrix," and proceeded to nearly take out a chuck of my earlobe. Hey-O! Kinky college educated stripper. Intriguing, but I'm still not paying you $150. sorry Jade...or Jasmine...or Candy...Lacy...whatever the heck your name was.
Saturday, 4/17, 7:00am
We come busting out of the club into the morning sunshine, every dime spent. Holy crap. The group starts to head all different directions. Hessing, Yountchi and I are craving breakfast. We head down the strip and eventually stumble upon a Fatburger. Bacon-egg-cheeseburger, stat! We were so gone at this point, each of us got our burger and we were instantly engrossed in our own worlds. Every now and then we'd look up, make eye contact, give a look of "Did that just EFFing happen?" and bust up laughing. Un-freakin-believable. We finally got back to the house around 9am and hit the sack. Vega baby!
Saturday, 4/17, 2pm
Back in action. Well, mostly. OK, we'll call it low-level functional. Mostly we spent the day lounging by the pool and finishing the volleyball tournament we'd started the day before b/c Steve requested that the trip be capped by a brothers dinner at the Hofbrauhaus Las Vegas.
I've been to the real Hof and I've been to I have to say, the one in Vegas is as close as I think a place could get. The decor was pretty much spot-on, the beer was good, the beermaids looked good, the band was a bit more rock than polka, but they had an accordion and a 40-foot horn (yes, 40 feet). I couldn't match the ambiance, but we're here to party for Steve so that wasn't as much of a concern.
We were getting settled in with the first round and some Bavarian pretzels when someone spotted the Jager girl and her tray of shots. Oh, and she's got a paddle. Oh, and I'm sitting at a table of my bro's degenerate frat brothers. Shit. The groom was getting paddled. That meant so must the best man. Son of a bitch! If I'm going down, I'm taking as many with me as possible. As soon as I took my lump I instantly grabbed Brian - your bros just got paddled, so are you. Then we made sure the rest of the groomsmen got theirs. Once done, a instant moratorium was set for the next 6 months. We're not having a repeat of this jackassery at the wedding.
2 shots, 4 Liters, and a plate of schnitzel later we were flying. We headed across the street to the Hard Rock for the night. Moderate success ensued. I went down on pai-gow, but got back up on blackjack and hit even at craps. I tried to get Yountchi in on the craps game to rekindle the previous night's magic, but it was not to be. You can't force these things. By 1am most of us were out of steam. A crew ventured off to try to track down a bachelorette party, but most of us were not in game shape for that (Epilogue: it didn't work out. Shocking).
The next day we were up and out. Holy crap what a weekend. Everyone agreed I need to quit my job and start a best man/bachelor party consulting service. Wait for the wedding gentlemen, you ain't seen nothing yet...8-)
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